So worried, so angry
#1
As I mentioned in a previous post, my fiance's job situation is looking grim. He will probably be laid off in a few months and doesn't have many options because he only has a GED. I went to college myself but probably shouldn't have--I barely graduated and my degree is worthless in this current market, so I am now working at a grocery store and making minimum wage. We are getting married in a few weeks, and this pending layoff puts a huge dent in our plans. I wonder how we'll ever be able to afford children and if we'll ever own a home. Hubby wants to go to school to become an electrician, but the only tech college that offers that program in this state is in our state's capital; it's a 2 year full time program and we could never afford to live in that city. The harsh winter weather 6 months out of the year makes commuting difficult, so you pretty much have to live where you work/attend school.

I'm so worried and so angry, and I wonder if we should get married at all now because we'll probably end up having kids right away and be trapped in a cycle of poverty for the rest of our lives. What did we do to deserve this? My wealthy parents are going to be appalled when we're in our 30s with 5 kids and still renting a 1 bedroom apartment.
St. Joseph, Terror of Demons, Pillar of Families, Glory of Domestic Life, Pray for Us!
Reply
#2
Oh, Honey!   :awww:

I'm sorry you are feeling so overwhelmed right now.  It's totally understandable!

But you've just got to know that God's got this!

Electricians make good money and I'm sure you guys can find something good in the city.  Babies take at least 9 months to arrive and it'll probably be longer than that.

One thing though.  Keep in mind the slap on the face the Bishop gives to candidates at their Confirmation.  The world will hate you as it hated Jesus before you!  Pre-accept it.  Imagine it and unite it to His crown of thorns. You will have to grow a really, really thick skin.

After all, what's the alternative?  Go run around and try and please everyone?  Good luck with that!  

Remember, people who won't accept you for who you are wouldn't accept you even if you jumped through all of their hoops!

Do you have a crystal ball?  You seem to already know the future!

Just take it one day at a time and keep repeating that to yourself.  It will all work out.  It always does. ;)


Do Not Worry

[b]25[/b]Therefore I say to you, be not solicitous for your life, what you shall eat, nor for your body, what you shall put on. Is not the life more than the meat: and the body more than the raiment? [b]26[/b]Behold the birds of the air, for they neither sow, nor do they reap, nor gather into barns: and your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are not you of much more value than they? [b]27[/b]And which of you by taking thought, can add to his stature by one cubit? [b]28[/b]And for raiment why are you solicitous? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they labour not, neither do they spin. [b]29[/b]But I say to you, that not even Solomon in all his glory was arrayed as one of these. [b]30[/b]And if the grass of the field, which is to day, and to morrow is cast into the oven, God doth so clothe: how much more you, O ye of little faith? [b]31[/b]Be not solicitous therefore, saying, What shall we eat: or what shall we drink, or wherewith shall we be clothed? [b]32[/b]For after all these things do the heathens seek. For your Father knoweth that you have need of all these things. [b]33[/b]Seek ye therefore first the kingdom of God, and his justice, and all these things shall be added unto you.
[b]34[/b]Be not therefore solicitous for to morrow; for the morrow will be solicitous for itself. Sufficient for the day is the evil thereof.
Reply
#3
I will certainly add you and yours to my prayers. I am so sorry to hear you two are struggling like this. Economic worries are some of the worst to deal with in my opinion. It's a true sense of helplessness at times. The electrician idea is a wonderful goal, and Sacred Heart Lover is totally right regarding their income. You two will get through this. These initial challenges may turn out to bond you two in incredible ways even though they feel absolutely awful right now. Keep your chin up. *hugs*
I am in the process of discerning my vocation with the help of my priest. If you would like to read my thoughts as I progress through this process of discernment feel free to visit my blog: https://walkingthelittleway.com
Reply
#4
I just remembered a story from when I was first married.

We bought a HUD home early on.

My husband was starting his own business I was home with our baby and took in another baby for pay.

I gave up my car and didn't buy any clothes.  Actually, I was wearing my husband's clothes as I grew with my second pregnancy. :P

It was time to pay the bills and he said, "Well, we can either pay the mortgage or the tithe."  

We had some big fights about tithing early on and I had even found out he was lying to me about doing it.

So I couldn't back down now.  "Pay the tithe," I said without blinking.

"You're sure?"

"Pay the tithe.  Trust in the Lord!"

So he did.

That week we got a check in the mail for exactly the amount of our mortgage!

Apparently, HUD was giving rebates!  (The government was giving back money???)

Yeah, true story!

Five years after buying our little home and fixing it up with a low-income loan, we sold it for $100,000 more than we bought it for.  :)
Reply
#5
(03-08-2018, 10:29 AM)SacraCor714 Wrote: As I mentioned in a previous post, my fiance's job situation is looking grim. He will probably be laid off in a few months and doesn't have many options because he only has a GED. I went to college myself but probably shouldn't have--I barely graduated and my degree is worthless in this current market, so I am now working at a grocery store and making minimum wage. We are getting married in a few weeks, and this pending layoff puts a huge dent in our plans. I wonder how we'll ever be able to afford children and if we'll ever own a home. Hubby wants to go to school to become an electrician, but the only tech college that offers that program in this state is in our state's capital; it's a 2 year full time program and we could never afford to live in that city. The harsh winter weather 6 months out of the year makes commuting difficult, so you pretty much have to live where you work/attend school.

I'm so worried and so angry, and I wonder if we should get married at all now because we'll probably end up having kids right away and be trapped in a cycle of poverty for the rest of our lives. What did we do to deserve this? My wealthy parents are going to be appalled when we're in our 30s with 5 kids and still renting a 1 bedroom apartment.
Peace.....I think the electrician plan sounds good and solid for future planning - be it your house and family or a regular pay-cheque.  It also seems to be something your fiance is interested in which is better than taking a job for 8 hrs a day that you really don't care for and don't feel you are getting anywhere.  Living in very small quarters near the electrician studies, would pay off in the long run.  These are my thoughts however I am not there IN the situation.....when and if a new baby comes along, you will be surprised how the relatives all get excited and actually, can't do enough!  God bless and keep praying!!   :heart:
Reply
#6
I will do a special novena for your $ situation tonight. It never fails.
"The days have gone down in the West, behind the hills, into shadow." - Theoden, King.
Reply
#7
maldon, which novena?  Maybe we can all join in?
Adoption, Home School, and Catholic Family Life:  StolenPears.com
Reply
#8
(03-08-2018, 10:29 AM)SacraCor714 Wrote: As I mentioned in a previous post, my fiance's job situation is looking grim. He will probably be laid off in a few months and doesn't have many options because he only has a GED. I went to college myself but probably shouldn't have--I barely graduated and my degree is worthless in this current market, so I am now working at a grocery store and making minimum wage. We are getting married in a few weeks, and this pending layoff puts a huge dent in our plans. I wonder how we'll ever be able to afford children and if we'll ever own a home. Hubby wants to go to school to become an electrician, but the only tech college that offers that program in this state is in our state's capital; it's a 2 year full time program and we could never afford to live in that city. The harsh winter weather 6 months out of the year makes commuting difficult, so you pretty much have to live where you work/attend school.

I'm so worried and so angry, and I wonder if we should get married at all now because we'll probably end up having kids right away and be trapped in a cycle of poverty for the rest of our lives. What did we do to deserve this? My wealthy parents are going to be appalled when we're in our 30s with 5 kids and still renting a 1 bedroom apartment.

Go for the job training.  The struggle will be short term, the payout will be for the rest of your lives.  Yes, live in a crummy place while he is in school, one little car, no new clothes, Ramen noodles for dinner, etc.   You can then move to almost anywhere in the country and live comfortably.  It is always hard starting out in life and in marriage.  You can do this.
Reply
#9
Just going to add something that no one seemed to mention. If you're living in poverty and struggling, your marriage probably isn't going to be so sexy as to produce a brood of kids. How else can I say this? Unless screaming matches, arguing over who does what chores, starving and struggling to make ends meet turns you on, then you probably won't be having that much sex and therefore won't have so many kids right away. And if you do, forgive me if I find that a bit sick? I'm pretty sure sex shouldn't be taken as some of distracting relief from life's problems, considering its purpose is procreation. (The oversexed Catholic marriage is a myth. Catholics have much less sex than other people; that's how it how it used to be before birth control, unless the husband was rapist and/or cheating.)

Anyway, welcome to marriage. It's not some kitschy, amazing experience. It's close to Hell on earth if ever there was one. The idealized version is a Protestant lie. Jesus made it Sacrament in the same way a priest blesses someone going into war. I'm just being honest here, don't mind me...

Prayers.
Reply
#10
(03-09-2018, 05:43 AM)xandratax Wrote: Anyway, welcome to marriage. It's not some kitschy, amazing experience. It's close to Hell on earth if ever there was one. The idealized version is a Protestant lie. Jesus made it Sacrament in the same way a priest blesses someone going into war. I'm just being honest here, don't mind me...

Man.

As someone hoping to get married in the next couple of years, this is not encouraging to hear.
Reply




Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)