Delicate question about sexuality (warning: graphic language)
#6
(04-15-2018, 08:52 PM)Ludovicus Wrote: Some subjects are quite taboo on french forums and I don’t feel confortable about the idea of talking about the subject of this post with a priest

Why would you feel uncomfortable addressing a serious question of moral theology to a priest?

Priests study such matters in the seminary precisely so they can help you to avoid sin and do the correct thing. Also, with the highly sexualized world we live in, you can bet that most priests have heard quite terrible sins. Yours are not unique or probably the worst a good priest has heard.

You should not worry about asking a priest, and if you are too embarrassed to ask publicly, ask in the confessional.

(04-15-2018, 08:52 PM)Ludovicus Wrote: I know that it is licit for a woman that would not have reached orgasm before her husband to stimulate herself (or to be stimulated by him) to completion. It is also licit if, after a first intercourse, the wife and the husband engage immediatley in a second one. In this case foreplay (such as manual or oral stimulations) are certainly allowed too.

Is it immoral if, in the two cases that I just mentioned, semen (from the previous intercourse) remains and is « * involved »? The more critical point being probably in the case of oral stimulation.

You can probably answer this question yourself if you understand the principles involved:

1. The primary purpose of the marital act is the procreation of children.
2. Secondary purposes of the act include the expression of mutual love and the calming of concupiscence by the pleasure of the act (usually by the completion of the act).
3. The primary purpose of the act can never be directly and intentionally frustrated without grave sin.
4. Sexual pleasure by oneself outside of the context of the marital act is not licit.

You are correct by these principles that a woman can be stimulated (by herself or her husband) to complete pleasure as long as the man has completed the act and this is all within the same marital act. This is because the primary purpose is achieved, and thus the secondary ends are legitimate. The self-stimulation of the woman, provided it is immediate, is not masturbation, because it would be legitimate for her to do this during the act itself. If there is a notable break between the man's completion and the woman's actions on herself, or a very long time during which the woman is given such pleasure, then this is a new action and illicit because it is masturbation.

If the man did not complete the act, then further self-pleasure is not licit because this is masturbation, not the continuation of the act, since the act has stopped. The first end is not possible, so the second is no longer licit.

The incomplete act is considered a prolonged act of touching, which is licit between spouses, like a kiss or other embrace. If there is risk of pollution, such acts are not licit. The degree of risk of such incontinence will determine the degree of sin.

Now to your question. The first thing to realize is that oral sexual contact (just as with sodomiacal-like contact) is not a noble type of contact, but a base one. It is not a grave sin if it does not risk incontinence or pollution and the marital act finished correctly, but it is certainly not a highly dignified manner of acting. It also risks introducing bacteria and other diseases into parts of a woman's body where those bacteria or diseases normally do not develop, thus potentially interfering with her fertility or a child's development. Something may not be sinful, but still is not a good way of acting. We should not only be concerned with whether we are sinning, but also whether we are tending toward the more dignified behavior or more base behavior.

If we apply the above principles, however, you can see that so long as you and your wife do nothing which frustrates the primary end of the marital act (by removing the seed in any significant way or preventing it from reaching its proper place in her body) then this is licit. 

If the risk of removing some of the seed is serious (more than what is naturally not going to reach it's proper end), then there would be grave sin.

The same applies to a second act immediately afterward. If there is no break between the acts, if there is risk of seriously disturbing the seed, then there will be grave sin.

With that, it seems to me that such immediate contact after the completion of the man's part does constitute a serious risk of disturbing the seed, thus it would probably be a grave sin.
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RE: Delicate question about sexuality (warning: graphic language) - by MagisterMusicae - 04-16-2018, 07:37 AM



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