Allergic to Pants
#11
Ok so is the big issue the shirtlessNess or wearing bumpy clothes?  I understand the shirtless issue but not the bumpy clothes.  Clothing if not immodest is so subjective.  I mean lots of men think wearing jeans with a political shirt means they are dressing up.  Well news flash, no your not.  Jeans is not dressing up just because you put a nice shirt on.  It's no different than wearing a t-shirt and jeans or basketball shorts and a polo.  A polo shirt is technically a sports jesery.  It's used in other countries as attire for athletes who compete in sports and even in america with soccer.  This is a perfect example of dress being subjective.  Men will claim a polo with jeans is dressing up.  I claim it's not since jeans would never be considered dressing up.

So in my mind unless your wanting your husbands standard dress to be slacks and dress shirts at all times, then get over it.  Ratting clothes at home or in the yare if not immodest should not be a problem.  Shorts and a t-shirt should not be a problem.  I mean are you always in and and dress and a fancy dress at that?  No sundresses or that type.  Do you only wear mass appropriate dresses at all times from the moment your awake till the moment you go to bed?  

If the immodest is the issue, that's one thing and understandable.  Although if it's also just because you don't think he is dressed up enough at home, in his own house, then just get over his style of clothes.  This is not some thing worth getting into and causing an issue over.
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#12
I’ll try to answer everyone at once in one post.
 
Yes, the issue is not slobby or scruffy clothes but immodesty. My husband is the furthest thing from a slob so that’s not my issue. The issue is that he is so at ease with his immodesty and doesn’t clothe himself in the presence of other people. I call his preferred shorts "ratty" because they are old and worn out.

For example, here are the shorts:
[Image: shrt_bl4_1.jpg]

Here are the shorts doing what they are supposed to do:
[Image: russian-cup-sambo.jpg]
So, you can easily see they are short and tight. When he's working outside, with no shirt, wearing those things, it's revealing. When he's indoors, shirtless, it's still immodest. Guys at the gym jokingly rib him over his compression shorts for weightlifting so he knows I'm not the only one with issues here.

Yes, buying him a new pair of longer shorts is very doable. As for briefs to boxers comparison, that's a whole other topic. The issue is that he has other pairs of the same shorts which he does save for sport. I could find shorts but what about getting him to wear a shirt? But as Fontevrault said, it could just be a case of him having to come to terms with Christian morality over time. *Apologies in advance if the photos bother anyone. Tried to find demonstrative yet covered ones.

He has all kinds of athletic wear so there is no excuse he doesn't have something comfortable. There are times I laugh it off, like greatdame suggests, and others I say, really? Come on now, my mom is here. It bothers me most concerning his spiritual development and understanding of concepts of morality. It's not an issue to cause serious harm in our marriage but rather something I hope he'll understand.

As a cradle Catholic, modesty has been a lesson taught as long as I can remember. In his case, it is something that was only brought up 2 years ago. It's probably a case of me being too impatient with spiritual growth since the general concept of modesty is common knowledge to Catholics. (He's Orthodox but it's still the same concept on modesty.) So, I'd like to provide him with something he can learn himself (readings) than me voicing displeasure.

Quote:What was the name of that British sitcom of a wife who dearly loved her slob of all slob husbands? You might have to learn to just laugh it off.
Do you mean Keeping Up Appearances with Daisy's love for Onslow? :D

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#13
Zubr, I'm sorry I got the timing wrong.  I remember well our conversations back in the day.  You two have been in my prayers all this time.  I guess the time passes too quickly!  Come to think of it, Joey is 20 months old . . . 

Maybe you could ask him to just cover up when the cleaning lady is around so as not to offend her?  Frankly, Pilgrim has been known to switch to boxers and a tshirt once the kids are in bed.  But he would **never** do so when other people are around.  It's a starting point.  You might tease him that he's just too much hunky man flesh for the cleaning lady to handle without getting embarrassed . . .  :D
Adoption, Home School, and Catholic Family Life:  StolenPears.com
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#14
Why if no one is around do you think it's immodest if he is not wearing a shirt? Your his wife. Are you saying your scandalized by your husbands bare chest? That it's immodest for you to see him like this?
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#15
(05-04-2018, 06:19 PM)Fontevrault Wrote: You might tease him that he's just too much hunky man flesh for the cleaning lady to handle without getting embarrassed . . .  :D
:P Sure, I can tell him that, and extend it to all the women of the world, and the postman and FedEx guys, and neighbours, but how to do it with a straight face? Oh right, you said tease.

You need to send me an update on Joey!

(05-04-2018, 11:44 PM)havok579257 Wrote: Why if no one is around do you think it's immodest if he is not wearing a shirt?  Your his wife.  Are you saying your scandalized by your husbands bare chest?  That it's immodest for you to see him like this?
I'm not scandalized when we're at home alone but it's the issue he does it around other people. (Cleaning lady, other help, my parents, my brother, friends, postman, delivery guys, neighbours... who knows who else when jogging.) Pretty much, he has no modesty or shame.

I play cards with him in the banya (small towel) and it's not an issue because of the context.

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#16
Hi Zubr, as for what he wears inside the home or while gardening, I wouldn't worry about that. Turn a blind eye to it. It's just not that important.

As per the towel thing--and even if it was a hotel--wearing a towel to answer the door is going a little too far, imo. Lol, I had somebody do that to me once and I momentarily feared he was a flasher!  :blush:
Oh my Jesus, I surrender myself to you. Take care of everything.--Fr Dolindo Ruotolo

Persevere..Eucharist, Holy Rosary, Brown Scapular, Confession. You will win.
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#17
It's interesting because in regards to shirtless men, has it even been seen as taboo or sinful for a man to be topless in public? I'd imagine throughout much of history that laborers would work without a shirt on during a hot day. In fact, I still see this occur today. Granted, it would probably be men among men, so that is a major difference.
Blood of Christ, relief of the burdened, save us.

“It is my design to die in the brew house; let ale be placed in my mouth when I am expiring, that when the choirs of angels come, they may say, “Be God propitious to this drinker.” – St. Columbanus, A.D. 612
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#18
In addition to being tasteless, wifebeaters are underwear and shorts are juvenile. There are plenty of clothing options for men to wear and maintain modest appearances. Consider wearing linens, cottons, some polyfibres, and various wools (like sheepswool, vicuna, cashmere etc.) and he should be fine. Shirts should have collars, which should be fastened; trousers should descend to the foot; ties and jackets are necessary when leaving the house.
"Punishment is justice for the unjust." Saint Augustine of Hippo
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#19
(10-18-2018, 09:33 PM)RyanPatrick Wrote: In addition to being tasteless, wifebeaters are underwear and shorts are juvenile. There are plenty of clothing options for men to wear and maintain modest appearances. Consider wearing linens, cottons, some polyfibres, and various wools (like sheepswool, vicuna, cashmere etc.) and he should be fine. Shirts should have collars, which should be fastened; trousers should descend to the foot; ties and jackets are necessary when leaving the house.

This isn't 1920. Are you actually suggesting that men should wear a shirt and tie everywhere?
Blood of Christ, relief of the burdened, save us.

“It is my design to die in the brew house; let ale be placed in my mouth when I am expiring, that when the choirs of angels come, they may say, “Be God propitious to this drinker.” – St. Columbanus, A.D. 612
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