Allergic to Pants
(05-03-2018, 08:51 PM)Zubr Wrote: Are there any good resources that specifically address modesty for men? I know it's been discussed a lot but nothing works. It seems as though this topic is focused on appearance in public or when visiting a church. What about a general approach to life and at home?

My husband came to Christianity late in life and still struggles with some morality issues. A good blog post said men’s dress becomes immodest when it is meant to increase sex appeal, impress or (adornment to) draw attention to oneself.
Though my husband has a muscular athletic body, he claims he doesn’t dress for sex appeal and his body is for/from sport, not a “fake” gym. His clothes are not “tight” (or feminine) but they are well-tailored so they show his form. In the summer, he’ll wear sleeveless shirts (wifebeater style) so stuff is on display. I struggle with accepting this is not for the opposite sex.

He says he doesn’t dress for adornment although his work-clothes are expensive. The blog post said that this is alright in some cases because in some lines of work, it is only respectful to the job. I believe him but, he says since he is dressed that way for work, he can’t wait to come home and get undressed. He argues that if he’s at home with his old lady, what’s the big deal?

Lastly, to draw attention. My husband said he is not seeking attention. I believe him. He has tattoos but they are old (faded) and with esoteric meanings that the average person wouldn’t get or they were not done for art.
So, with that covered, the main issues are this: when my husband is done the work-day, he comes home and immediately puts on old ratty sambo shorts. If someone comes to the door, makes a delivery or visits, he's in those shorts. He will argue that he is in his house, it’s his business and he hates wearing clothes. He’s been dressed this way in front of our cleaning lady and other help. This is the main reason why I post this now.
Last week, while at a hotel, the maid knocked and he went to the door in a towel. No shame whatsoever. A robe was readily available, which I pointed out, and he shrugged. We’ve had warmer weather days and he’s been outside doing yard work in those damned shorts. Again, he’ll say, it’s his yard, his business. I’ll retort, actually, God expects a certain decorum all the time. He’s started jogging shirtless again too.
Only two quotes from another article made some headway:
The moral character and moral value of man's personality depends most of all on the direction and strength of the will. Of course, everyone understands that for a Christian it is necessary to have first, a strong and decisive will, and second, a will which is firmly directed toward the good of his neighbor, toward the side of good and not evil.
And then…

Bad, sinful habits are a great obstacle for a Christian moral life. On the other hand, good habits are a valuable acquisition for the soul and, therefore, man must teach himself much good so that what is good becomes his own—habitual. This is especially important in the early years, when a man's character takes shape.
I understand that we are countering decades of one line of thought, and my husband doesn’t understand (or want to understand) that his actions are incongruent with a Christian life. It does not reflect well on a couple that claims to be focused on our respective faiths, his religious instruction and in turn, the priest who is his spiritual advisor. Is this too much to overcome or am I being nitpicky?
Can modesty be presented in a more "this is good for masculinity" and valor rather than the typical occasions of sin context?

When I was married I used to do something similar. For work business casual dress is required, so when coming home I just want to get comfortable and kick back so a comfy pair of shorts and t-shirt was the first thing on my agenda. When married this really bugged my wife. For her she seemed to be upset that I wore nice clothes to work and wore scrubs at home.. We compromised, I kept my work clothes on until after eating dinner together and then afterward got in my comfy clothes.

My wife left for greener pastures so now I do whatever... I can be allergic to pants or any clothes for that matter. However I just retreat to my comfy shorts and t-shirt or sweat shirt.
"There are in truth three states of the converted: the beginning,  the middle and the perfection. In the beginning, they experience the charms of sweetness; in the middle, the contests of temptation; and in the end, the fullness of perfection."
-- Pope St. Gregory

“One day, through the Rosary and the Scapular, Our Lady will save the world.”
-- attributed to Saint Domenic
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Messages In This Thread
Allergic to Pants - by Zubr - 05-03-2018, 08:51 PM
RE: Allergic to Pants - by Fontevrault - 05-03-2018, 10:08 PM
RE: Allergic to Pants - by jovan66102 - 05-03-2018, 11:24 PM
RE: Allergic to Pants - by Dominicus - 05-04-2018, 12:03 AM
RE: Allergic to Pants - by Zubr - 05-03-2018, 11:18 PM
RE: Allergic to Pants - by jovan66102 - 05-04-2018, 01:00 AM
RE: Allergic to Pants - by CaptCrunch73 - 05-04-2018, 07:03 AM
RE: Allergic to Pants - by Zubr - 05-04-2018, 10:15 AM
RE: Allergic to Pants - by GangGreen - 05-04-2018, 10:37 AM
RE: Allergic to Pants - by greatdame - 05-04-2018, 01:39 PM
RE: Allergic to Pants - by havok579257 - 05-04-2018, 01:52 PM
RE: Allergic to Pants - by Zubr - 05-04-2018, 04:44 PM
RE: Allergic to Pants - by Fontevrault - 05-04-2018, 06:19 PM
RE: Allergic to Pants - by havok579257 - 05-04-2018, 11:44 PM
RE: Allergic to Pants - by Zubr - 05-05-2018, 01:09 PM
RE: Allergic to Pants - by JacafamalaRedux - 10-17-2018, 12:11 PM
RE: Allergic to Pants - by GangGreen - 10-17-2018, 05:31 PM
RE: Allergic to Pants - by RyanPatrick - 10-18-2018, 09:33 PM
RE: Allergic to Pants - by GangGreen - 10-19-2018, 03:14 PM

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