Pray for Me: Feeling Like Everything's Pointless
#1
Lately I've been feeling like there's no point to anything. Of course, I know for a fact that the ultimate point to life is to get to Heaven, but sometimes I just can't get myself to realize that even though I know it. I also feel like I'm hopeless in many ways: God blessed me with excellent music skills and I wish get jobs playing music, but I call places up and they never call back making me feel like nobody cares about me at all. I also feel that God is probably calling me to marriage, but literally no Catholic girls seem to be interested in me which makes me also feel useless and ugly/down. I feel these two things have contributed to me feeling like everything's pointless and is making me stop caring about everything. I don't want to feel this way, but it seems that it's extremely difficult to overcome these feelings. I think that quitting nicotine may have also contributed to this state of mind as I've been nicotine free for about 3 weeks now and although I really don't have much withdrawal symptoms right now, I feel rather empty when I got nothing to do.

In short, please pray for me! Thanks! Big Grin
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#2
Firstly, congrats on being nicotine free! That is a huge accomplishment. I have watched many friends try to quit who only made it a few days. Three weeks is incredible. The fact that you could do that shows great discipline and determination.

Regarding the jobs; that is sadly how life goes - at least as a contractor (which I'm assuming is how you'd take jobs). When I owed the janitorial company I would call about 100 or so places before I'd even get one bit on coming in to give a proposal. If I got one job out of 400 calls I'd consider that a success. In the beginning, it was very difficult to support myself, but eventually as my business grew it was fine to have that ratio of success because all the other contracts I had were filled with good employees who worked hard and I didn't want for food or anything. The reason I say this: you are stepping into the world of entrepreneurship, and that is a very difficult lifestyle - albeit extremely rewarding. Put your trust in God, pray for Mary's intercession, and keep plugging away. Try to branch out. Are you only calling churches etc? Perhaps try some social places who need a pianist, or see if a hotel or something similar will let you play for tips and have some business cards nearby and booking flyers for interested folks. Do you have a website? Perhaps you could try setting one up and spending a little on targeted facebook/twitter/etc advertising for parties, weddings, etc. (make a Soundcloud with some samples so people can hear your work). If you want to be successful as a contractor/entrepreneur you have to think about it as a business and not a job - that is a significant mental shift. People don't spend money to get jobs, but entrepreneurs do, indeed, spend money to get new clients/contracts. I wish you the best of luck with that. It is incredibly satisfying to eat and live by your own hard work.

Regarding finding a wife: I'm called to the single life - I'm actually (since I can't enter Carmel because of some medical issues which would be burdensome to a community but not to an individual) working with my director to investigate the eremitical life. However, in the past - before my marriage was ended by Pauline privilege - I did seek a husband (because, you know, that's what people do). Thinking back in hindsight I wanted to conform to what society told me I needed to do so badly that I made a relationship that should never have happened "work" and drag on for years. My advice, then, would be to take it slowly. Focus on your faith and your work. If you are called to the married life you will meet the right person, but if not perhaps that is not what God intends for you. Shoot, I became a Catholic to join the Carmelites LOL but God had other plans for me...ones that truly are testing my trust in Him (because living alone forever scares the heck outta me...but I'm filled with so much peace when I really reflect upon it) but are building me into an instrument for Him in a far better way than I would have ever imagined.

So, in short (sorry for the long ramble): all of our plans can easily be swept away by the Will of God. Trust in Him, and keep plugging away. Don't lose hope or faith. Don't let despair take over, but be prepared to surrender to whatever life it is He choose for you. Perhaps he needs you to be a priest, or maybe he needs you to become a great musician. Who knows? Just follow your heart until you know for certain what it is He wants from you.

Man, I have a bad habit of rambling away with these "quick replies". Sorry for the wall of text, and I apologize in advance if nothing in there is helpful or encouraging. I know that many folks on here do care about you - myself included because your sense of humor and cheerfulness is always a welcome read when you post.

If you would like help getting a site set up for your business I can host it for you (no charge) until you start making millions and bogging down my server with traffic Wink Incorporate yourself (an LLC would probably be best if you are in the States), get some cards, get a company bank account etc. There's a lot you can work on right now to keep you busy, and I have a feeling once you get all that done you'll find a million other things to do (like learn taxes and accounting for small businesses LOL) to keep you occupied until you find a good wife - and then I ASSURE you that you will never want for something to do (at least if my relationship was any indication of how that goes as a spouse can always find work for ya when you have down time LOL).

Hang in there, Smiley...and don't lose that smile you always hand out to people Smile
I am in the process of discerning my vocation with the help of my priest. If you would like to read my thoughts as I progress through this process of discernment feel free to visit my blog: https://walkingthelittleway.com
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#3
(06-01-2018, 10:32 AM)IntoTheMystic Wrote: Firstly, congrats on being nicotine free! That is a huge accomplishment. I have watched many friends try to quit who only made it a few days. Three weeks is incredible. The fact that you could do that shows great discipline and determination.

Regarding the jobs; that is sadly how life goes - at least as a contractor (which I'm assuming is how you'd take jobs). When I owed the janitorial company I would call about 100 or so places before I'd even get one bit on coming in to give a proposal. If I got one job out of 400 calls I'd consider that a success. In the beginning, it was very difficult to support myself, but eventually as my business grew it was fine to have that ratio of success because all the other contracts I had were filled with good employees who worked hard and I didn't want for food or anything. The reason I say this: you are stepping into the world of entrepreneurship, and that is a very difficult lifestyle - albeit extremely rewarding. Put your trust in God, pray for Mary's intercession, and keep plugging away. Try to branch out. Are you only calling churches etc? Perhaps try some social places who need a pianist, or see if a hotel or something similar will let you play for tips and have some business cards nearby and booking flyers for interested folks. Do you have a website? Perhaps you could try setting one up and spending a little on targeted facebook/twitter/etc advertising for parties, weddings, etc. (make a Soundcloud with some samples so people can hear your work). If you want to be successful as a contractor/entrepreneur you have to think about it as a business and not a job - that is a significant mental shift. People don't spend money to get jobs, but entrepreneurs do, indeed, spend money to get new clients/contracts. I wish you the best of luck with that. It is incredibly satisfying to eat and live by your own hard work.

Regarding finding a wife: I'm called to the single life - I'm actually (since I can't enter Carmel because of some medical issues which would be burdensome to a community but not to an individual) working with my director to investigate the eremitical life. However, in the past - before my marriage was ended by Pauline privilege - I did seek a husband (because, you know, that's what people do). Thinking back in hindsight I wanted to conform to what society told me I needed to do so badly that I made a relationship that should never have happened "work" and drag on for years. My advice, then, would be to take it slowly. Focus on your faith and your work. If you are called to the married life you will meet the right person, but if not perhaps that is not what God intends for you. Shoot, I became a Catholic to join the Carmelites LOL but God had other plans for me...ones that truly are testing my trust in Him (because living alone forever scares the heck outta me...but I'm filled with so much peace when I really reflect upon it) but are building me into an instrument for Him in a far better way than I would have ever imagined.

So, in short (sorry for the long ramble): all of our plans can easily be swept away by the Will of God. Trust in Him, and keep plugging away. Don't lose hope or faith. Don't let despair take over, but be prepared to surrender to whatever life it is He choose for you. Perhaps he needs you to be a priest, or maybe he needs you to become a great musician. Who knows? Just follow your heart until you know for certain what it is He wants from you.

Man, I have a bad habit of rambling away with these "quick replies". Sorry for the wall of text, and I apologize in advance if nothing in there is helpful or encouraging. I know that many folks on here do care about you - myself included because your sense of humor and cheerfulness is always a welcome read when you post.

If you would like help getting a site set up for your business I can host it for you (no charge) until you start making millions and bogging down my server with traffic Wink Incorporate yourself (an LLC would probably be best if you are in the States), get some cards, get a company bank account etc. There's a lot you can work on right now to keep you busy, and I have a feeling once you get all that done you'll find a million other things to do (like learn taxes and accounting for small businesses LOL) to keep you occupied until you find a good wife - and then I ASSURE you that you will never want for something to do (at least if my relationship was any indication of how that goes as a spouse can always find work for ya when you have down time LOL).

Hang in there, Smiley...and don't lose that smile you always hand out to people Smile
My late husband and I started/owned a business for several years.
.
Everything she said.  100%
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#4
Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to thy protection, implored thy help, or sought thine intercession was left unaided.
Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto thee, O Virgin of virgins, my mother; to thee do I come, before thee I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in thy mercy hear and answer me.
Amen.
Rome will lose the faith and become the seat of the antichrist. 
The demons of the air together with the Antichrist will perform great wonders  
The Church will be in eclipse

-Our Lady of La Salette


Like Christ, His Bride the Church will undergo its own passion, burial, and resurrection.
-unknown traditional priest

Father Ripperger said that if we are detached from all things, aren't afraid to suffer, and we accept all suffering as the will of God for our sanctity, we have nothing to fear!
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#5
Hang in there, Smiley, and take things one day at a time. 

Smile, though your heart is aching
Smile, even though it’s breaking
When there are clouds in the sky
you’ll get by
If you smile through your fear and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You’ll see the sun come shining through
for you
Light up your face with gladness
Hide every trace of sadness
Although a tear may be ever so near
That’s the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what’s the use of crying
You’ll find that life is still worthwhile
If you’ll just
Smile

I too have been feeling like everything is pointless lately. Something I realized is that I haven't been praying very much. I opened my dusty Bible and read a few Psalms, and that has given me more peace than I've felt in years.

When you're distressed, when you feel hopeless, when you feel like you can't do anything, the best and only thing you should do is pray. If you can't even pray, read the prayers, read the Bible.

Remember, you only have to get through one day at a time.
Some people say “If you can’t beat them, join them." I say “If you can’t beat them, beat them,” because they will be expecting you to join them, so you will have the element of surprise.

St. Mary of Egypt, Ora Pro Nobis!







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#6
Hey Smiley,

How are you doing? Are you feeling any better?
I am in the process of discerning my vocation with the help of my priest. If you would like to read my thoughts as I progress through this process of discernment feel free to visit my blog: https://walkingthelittleway.com
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#7
Pray
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#8
Smiley:

Man, you are too young to be feeling this way. Those feelings will come naturally enough with age. 

Per work: you are not alone in your struggle. I had to move back *twice* with my parents before I was able to get a full-time job w/benefits at the age of thirty-two. I spent/wasted most of my twenties in grad schools and working lousy jobs. This may not be the most encouraging story to read, but finding a good job at your age, unless you have learned a trade, is becoming increasingly rare. 

Per women: perhaps another story you do not want to read: I have had much more success, if you want to put it that way, with women in my thirties than I ever did when I was in my twenties. (Example: I had a few good times with a model from New York who is fifteen years my junior last year. I doubt a model would have ever looked twice at me during my undergraduate years.) Nature is cruel. Women hit their wall in their mid-to-late twenties. Men, however, do not come into their own until their thirties, perhaps even early forties. Provided you take care of yourself, by the time that you approach that age, you will be a much more accomplished, self-confident, secure, and interesting person. (This is not to say that you are not already, though.) Granted, this is not the most motivating news if you want to start a family sooner than later. Once again, though, as a man, biologically speaking, you will be much better able to have children later in life than a woman.

All this to say, do not give in to the situational despair of youth, brother. A much greater despair, that of unavoidable physical and mental impotency and encroaching death, will be nipping at your heels before you know it. Perhaps, though, by then, you will have the most incredible wife and loving children and grandchildren to comfort you in that stage.   

*Cliche warning* Continue to do what it reads like you are already doing: focusing on your relationship with God, living a faithful Catholic life, developing your musical talents, applying for jobs, and meeting people. Barring the always-unknown, you truly have your life ahead of you, and at your age, it will get better.
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