Very discouraged - advice needed, please?
#21
I would recommend making friends with St. Rita of Cascia and learning about her life. She had struggles with her husband as well.
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#22
My roommate is a complete carnivore and it has helped her tremendously. My husband-to-be and I also decided to go Keto together for Lent. That may not sound like a very good Lenten penance, but it has helped us both. I no longer have stomach pain, I have more energy, my hormones seem more in-balance, etc. I would recommend trying the Keto diet and maybe even slowly transitioning to carnivore. It certainly makes your diet more simple if you just eat beef!


St. Mary of Egypt, Ora Pro Nobis!







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#23
First of all (and most importantly): prayers for you and your husband.   Pray Pray Pray

Now, for some advice - and I do apologize, this is long:

When I was pregnant with my now 6 year old son, I had bronchitis and sinusitis for two months.  I had no idea I was pregnant and felt like total garbage all day, every day.  Most days, I had three adopted kids at home and couldn't get off the couch for more than a minute or two without getting dizzy.  I was a shadow of my normal, high energy self.  (Sound familiar?)  It frustrated my husband no end until we (1) got rid of the bronchitis etc. and (2) figured out that I was pregnant.  Then he felt like a total jerk for being mad at me for so long.  Why do I share this?  Well, guys tend to like something visible and clear that they can "fix."  If they can't fix it or perceive it, they struggle with how to deal with it.  So, he can't fix you and isn't really sure what's going on.  That makes him feel (alternately or perhaps at the same time) like a bad husband for not being able to make it better and hypercritical of you because you don't really "seem" sick.  It sometimes helps to see his perspective so that you can release any frustration and bitterness you may have towards him.  He is very likely just as confused and frustrated as you are.  

For perspective:  I sprained my ankle really badly a few years ago - so badly that it would have been better for me if my ankle had broken (easier recovery).  I was in a cast for quite a while and then in one of those big boots for months.   This all happened on our flight home from a visit to see my parents.  Almost as soon as we got home and figured out that there was no way I could get up and down the stairs to our bedroom, my husband drove over an hour to buy a little sofa bed I could sleep on, a dresser for the main floor of the house so I could keep clothes where I could get them, and assembled it all in one day.  There was stuff he could do, so he did it.   When I went to the physical therapist the next day and figured out a way to get up and down the stairs, he wasn't mad at all about the money he spent.  He saw it as a way to support me and help my recovery.  It's a guy thing. They like to be able to do something and when they can't, it makes them a little frustrated.   Smile


I think seeing a good doctor is essential at this point.  You will need to advocate for yourself and look at every lab result to try to understand things before going to see the doctor.  This will help you to work with him.  I would take hubby along with you.  Tell him that you want another set of ears hearing what the doctors say (it often helps when information gets overwhelming) and another perspective on what's going on with you.  I'm sure he will want to go.  

The other thing I think you should certainly do is see a good nutritionist, one that specializes in food allergies.  Gluten intolerance is closely linked with dairy intolerance.  Gluten and casein (a major protein found in all kinds of milk) apparently can interact with the body in similar ways and can both effect food absorption and leaky gut issues.  There are other food allergies and intolerances that can impact energy and effect overall health.  If it were me, I would begin with a basic food diary.  Record what you eat, when, and your overall mood, energy level, etc.  Do it every day for at least a week before going in to see a nutritionist.  Look for patterns: I eat x, I feel like y - consistently.  

If there is not money for a nutritionist (hey, they are really expensive), then there is a lot you can do on your own to figure this stuff out.  You can start an elimination diet where you remove major allergens completely and then slowly add them back to see how you react.  It works like this: go completely clean (and yes, rather uninteresting in terms of food) for at least two to three weeks (better - a month).  Then add one potential allergen in at a time in very small amounts and gradually increasing the amount over two weeks or so.  Track your reactions.  If you get a reaction of any kind (rash, upset tum, exhaustion, mood shifts, you name it) then you likely have an intolerance.  Basically, if a food doesn't make you feel good, remove it from your diet and see if that improves your symptoms further.  

You might need to explore the GAPS diet as a way to heal and move forward.  It sounds extreme but if it gives you back your life, why not at least try?  Since you are already gluten free, this seems like a logical step. If you can't stand the idea of going that far, at least consider adding bone broth and probiotics to your diet.

How do I know this stuff?  Well, I'm not a doctor.  I'm no nutritionist.  But I do have three kids with a casein intolerance of epic proportions.  I've learned a lot about milk, its alternatives, and how dairy can effect the body.  With us, the elimination diet was super simple.  I figured out last Lent that I had been overdosing them on dairy (hey, meatless - they need protein - makes sense - until you realize casein makes my particular children crazy).  I went dairy free the next day and it was like flicking a switch; they were completely different children.  Twelve hours was enough of a detox period for us to see a change.  

It might be that you find a food that has a similar and very profound effect on you.  It might also be that there is hidden gluten in your diet (it is in virtually everything these days).  Poor nutrition caused by a leaky gut can create lower abdominal issues, hair loss, dry scaly skin, sunken eyes, lack of sleep, poor sleep, manic energy followed by profound exhaustion.  Your description of life lately suggests some kind of leaky gut issue - which suggests casein may be an issue for you.  But, remember I'm not a doctor or a nutritionist; I can't diagnose you.

Anyway, I hope and pray this very long message is at least somewhat helpful.  I will pray for you and your husband as you struggle through this.  Feel free to PM me if you want more information on something I've said here.  I've spent a lot of time researching this stuff and working through it.  

God bless!
Fontevrault
Adoption, Home School, and Catholic Family Life:  StolenPears.com
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#24
Fontevrault, where ya been? Golly!
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#25
Where have I been?  Well . . .  I've been raising 5 very spirited children and trying my best not to go crazy.   Big Grin  

I miss this place!!!
Adoption, Home School, and Catholic Family Life:  StolenPears.com
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#26
(03-28-2019, 01:14 PM)Fontevrault Wrote: Where have I been?  Well . . .  I've been raising 5 very spirited children and trying my best not to go crazy.   Big Grin  

I miss this place!!!

Ha, as if raising children and trying to preserve one's sanity while demons attack the Church and Western culture implodes on all sides is enough excuse to not be here! Sticking tongue out at you
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#27
The world certainly seems mad these days!  Smile

I have been working with a new scouting group: The Federation of North American Explorers.  It is closely tied to the TLM parishes in my area, and I am impressed by the passionate Catholic world view of the group.  Check it out.  You might be impressed.  They are an American offshoot of the FSE - the ones you see on all the Chartres pilgrimages and associated with the SSPX.  Here, they are part of the local FSSP parish.  Honestly, I wanted my children to have a scouting experience but I couldn't stand the idea of Girl Scouts and Boy Scouts (I can't hold my nose and put up with it any more).  So, I jumped on board.  I'm a leader now and that has taken a lot of my time.  That and homeschooling and getting my real estate license and starting to sell pottery . . .  And learning how to cook dairy free and help my kids recover from 6 years of dairy overdoses . . . 

But in all of that, I have lurked and occasionally posted.  I miss you guys!!!  HUGS to you Vox!   Wink 

OP - I didn't mean to derail your thread!  The thing I've learned over the last year that we've been dairy free: food is medicine in your body.  What you eat directly impacts your body's ability to heal itself (insofar as it can do so).  It also impacts your energy, your focus and mental clarity, and your overall outlook on life.  Treat food like medicine, figure out what your body needs, and a lot of diseases we treat with drugs in the US can get better on their own (if not completely eliminated).  Example: almonds can elevate your mood like Prozac.  So when my mom gets uppity, I give her almonds.  Rosemary tea soothes the stomach, calms the mind, and helps improve general outlook on life.  Guess what?  I bought a huge rosemary bush for our house.  We cut snippets and brew lovely tea as often as possible.  Leg cramps and restless leg syndrome can be improved with magnesium (not medication - at least sometimes).  So, eat dark chocolate, almonds, berries.  See!  It's easy!

BTW - Pilgrim says hi!  He may pop in at some point.
Adoption, Home School, and Catholic Family Life:  StolenPears.com
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#28
(03-28-2019, 05:11 PM)Fontevrault Wrote: The world certainly seems mad these days!  Smile

I have been working with a new scouting group: The Federation of North American Explorers.  It is closely tied to the TLM parishes in my area, and I am impressed by the passionate Catholic world view of the group.  Check it out.  You might be impressed.  They are an American offshoot of the FSE - the ones you see on all the Chartres pilgrimages and associated with the SSPX.  Here, they are part of the local FSSP parish.  Honestly, I wanted my children to have a scouting experience but I couldn't stand the idea of Girl Scouts and Boy Scouts (I can't hold my nose and put up with it any more).  So, I jumped on board.  I'm a leader now and that has taken a lot of my time.  That and homeschooling and getting my real estate license and starting to sell pottery . . .  And learning how to cook dairy free and help my kids recover from 6 years of dairy overdoses . . . 
 
Well! I more than checked out the FNE; I linked to them and to the Troops of St. George just now on the Domestic Church page. Making sure kids have good peer groups is crucial! SO glad you're doing what you're doing! You're heroic (and I'm being serious. Women like you are amazing to me.)
 
Quote:But in all of that, I have lurked and occasionally posted.  I miss you guys!!!  HUGS to you Vox!   Wink 
 
Backatcha!

Quote:OP - I didn't mean to derail your thread!  The thing I've learned over the last year that we've been dairy free: food is medicine in your body.  What you eat directly impacts your body's ability to heal itself (insofar as it can do so).  It also impacts your energy, your focus and mental clarity, and your overall outlook on life.  Treat food like medicine, figure out what your body needs, and a lot of diseases we treat with drugs in the US can get better on their own (if not completely eliminated).  Example: almonds can elevate your mood like Prozac.  So when my mom gets uppity, I give her almonds.  Rosemary tea soothes the stomach, calms the mind, and helps improve general outlook on life.  Guess what?  I bought a huge rosemary bush for our house.  We cut snippets and brew lovely tea as often as possible.  Leg cramps and restless leg syndrome can be improved with magnesium (not medication - at least sometimes).  So, eat dark chocolate, almonds, berries.  See!  It's easy!
 
Would you give me almonds even if I'm not uppity? (I have a thing for anything almond!). 

Yeah, there's a lot of focus on diet as medicine these days. The paleo thing is HUGE. Jordan Peterson's daughter healed herself of literally crippling arthritis (hip replacements, the whole bit) by diet alone. Anyone with inflammatory or gut conditions should check into that.

Quote:BTW - Pilgrim says hi!  He may pop in at some point.
 
Hey to Pilgrim! Smile
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#29
An introduction to St. Rita of Cascia for you:



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#30
(03-28-2019, 10:39 PM)VoxClamantis Wrote:  
Well! I more than checked out the FNE; I linked to them and to the Troops of St. George just now on the Domestic Church page. Making sure kids have good peer groups is crucial! SO glad you're doing what you're doing! You're heroic (and I'm being serious. Women like you are amazing to me.)
 
 
Would you give me almonds even if I'm not uppity? (I have a thing for anything almond!). 

Yeah, there's a lot of focus on diet as medicine these days. The paleo thing is HUGE. Jordan Peterson's daughter healed herself of literally crippling arthritis (hip replacements, the whole bit) by diet alone. Anyone with inflammatory or gut conditions should check into that.

Thank you for linking it!!! We are spread really thin in terms of leaders and any help finding new support is wonderful!  I'm no more heroic than any other mom who loves her children and wants what's best for them though.  I pray every day for patience and strength - just like any other mom.  Some days I want to pull the covers over my head and pretend the day has not yet begun . . .  Wouldn't it be nice if kids came with snooze buttons?   Smile  


Go for the almonds!  With my mom, it's become a joke.  She starts in on something, I give her a handful of almonds, and we both laugh.  It diffuses tension in more ways than one!   Big Grin
Adoption, Home School, and Catholic Family Life:  StolenPears.com
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