breaking addiction from pornography
#1
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So far for me I have found a montra that helps me to fight this addicition, I found it on youtube of all places, from some video a teenager posted, but the teen was very articulate and seemed sincere in his video to want to try an help others with this addiction.  An one thing he said to try was repeating over and over in ones mind or when alone,,,  I do not desire pornography , I do not enjoy pornography ,  and the same for masturbation. An at the core of this, is basically reprogramming ones thinking behavior,  what also has helped me is to think about how i feel afterwards,  i might have a few moments of gratification and relief, but then soon after comes guilt, of wasted time, of sin, plenty of other personal guilts.  And who does one talk to it about, kinda hard to talk to your parents, or friends. Parents will spaz out, friends may laugh.  Personally I had to take the religious aspects out of this because it was becoming for me scruples and just compounding the pain. That doesn't mean having religious reasons to stop isn't beneficial, all i am saying is I had to personally stop damning myself for an addiction that began when I was too young to combat it at the age of like 13, when the internet was first coming around, back in the 90s then pornography moved into the net, and then cable tv got big, and pornography invaded the tv industry. Then turning 18 and being able to legally buy a porn mag, was beyond exciting. 

All the while not realizing how i was feeding an addicition, and isolating myself, and i didn't see it happening until things got a lot worse, and that high,  started to fade and i had to go to another level, and then I had to find ways to be alone to engage in this addicition. There is to me at least, a big difference between a once in a while sin, and an addiction, that can be compounded by plenty of circumstances. Which for me there were more circumstances than I knew i even had.  Not that the sin itself just magically stops being a sin because it turned into an addicition, but the culpability aspect changes to a degree. By how much, i don't think the church can honestly say, and is left up to God to be the only Judge on.  But something that takes a level of discernment and honesty with ones self.  Other things that have helped me to get off this addicition, is to think about the people involved, these are not upstanding citizens, no one in their right mind, grows up in a good environment an goes ya know what, i am making great grades in school, i am good at this sport, i have really good friends,  i think i want to be a porn star or a stripper when i get older.   Something happens in these people lives to sink them to a level of quick cash.  And then we have a society that says it is empowering, to women, or homosexuals, etc. An it clouds the truth when doing that. So for anyone male or female, dealing with this addicition, there has to be a lot of self examination as to why this has happened in your life, and you have to be a detective to a degree, and really investigate the causes. I was personally relying too much on prayer and for God to just do some kind of miracle and destroy all pornography and thus it would be over.  BUT I think that those prayers were indeed seeds, that took time to grow so i could get to a point to where I could identify what my triggers were, and find something that works for me.

There is no one simple answer, you have to do the work and the research, you have to  find books about addiction, you have to do research online and read reviews on what people have found helpful and what hasnt been helpful. If i can find the youtube channel again  i will post it.   Also if you feel the need to go to the sacrament of reconciliation , you have to educate your confessor , if you dont know what scruples is as your confessor, your confessor isn't a mind reader, he doesn't know how long you have been struggling with the addicition / sin.  and you have to remember that he is human and has his own problems and cant always be available for confession every single second something happens in this regard. So for me what helped is realzing i can pray on my own, work on relaxing, and knowing that I can go to reconcilation when the time is alloted.  Other than that the only thing to do is work with your priest and set up a schedule to meet for reconcilation. 

Either way don't forget , peoples lives are destroyed because of pornography , forget the sin aspect for a moment, there are sex slaves out there who are fighting for their lives, and or people who are taken advantage of because they are in need of money and succumb to the temptation of easy money to solve a problem for a need or problem of their own. It is the same for strip clubs, it may be fun temporarily, but at some point trouble happens, someone at some point in that industry gets hurt some how some way. an it is because it is a dangerous and scuzzy industry.

Good people are out there to be with, ya just have to work on yourself and be open to getting rejected over and over an over, an willing to fight through that rejection to find the right people you need in your life.

I do struggle still with the urges, I feel I have been given the grace now to stop and fight back, I may relapse, i don't know for certain, but i think about how far i have gotten thus far, at this point in my rotten life and I am glad that i can fight back.  I find it better to punish myself in a manner that will benefit myself at some level, by not giving into a physical urge or addiction , than feeding a cycle that gives me temporary pleasure and then more pain and a pain that isn't going to benefit me any. I feel if i make it a full year with out viewing pornography I will have broken this addiction with Gods Grace , in full. An can focus on other aspects of my life that needs to be improved .
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#2
When you are tempted to masturbate or view pornography, you must turn to Jesus in prayer immediately. Say His name out loud. There is power in the Holy Name. It doesn’t need to be anything profound. Simply “Jesus, I love you” or “Jesus, have mercy on me, a poor sinner” will work just fine. The temptation will pass if you turn to Jesus right away, but if you don’t do this, you’ll fall. Have a conversation with the Child Jesus.
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#3
(09-24-2018, 03:33 PM)Credidi Propter Wrote: When you are tempted to masturbate or view pornography, you must turn to Jesus in prayer immediately. Say His name out loud. There is power in the Holy Name. It doesn’t need to be anything profound. Simply “Jesus, I love you” or “Jesus, have mercy on me, a poor sinner” will work just fine. The temptation will pass if you turn to Jesus right away, but if you don’t do this, you’ll fall. Have a conversation with the Child Jesus.

I can't like this enough:

"For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord, shall be saved." Romans 10:13
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#4
If one finds help invoking Jesus to help them, and it works for them, then that is great, hopefully the response wasn't suggesting I was trying to be " profound " , for the rest of us who cant stop bullets or stop an addiction with a simple phrase or a simple prayer, we have to work harder and search harder for ways to break the cycle. It requires patience and practice and determination to achieve such a goal for those of us who need more , it would be a nice blessing if we could simply solve all our problems by simply invoking Jesus to come to our aid. But for some of us, we will be sadly disappointed if we rely on prayer alone to solve all our problems and take no action.

So a relapse has occurred for me , for anyone who is keeping tabs, So, time to Start over and try again. I think I noted some things I need to change, and realized my thoughts were getting the best of me when I was in a very weak state, call it a mental condition, call it an attack by the devil, what ever, the problem didnt go away, and what i noticed is when i thought everything was done and gone, the thoughts picked back up, the urges were more intense and i had no outlet. So It becomes for me a need to find a better out let. A way to incorporate prayer and works at the same time. It is said 21 days is the time frame to form a new habit, i was getting close, so I got a new short term goal.

I hope others are persevering in what ever their addiction may be, and find strength in prayer and action. An not to give up or beat oneself up if one relapses.
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#5
It's definitely extremely difficult. Pornography is a drug on the same level as hard drugs and maybe even worse. If you're trying to quit drugs you can at least avoid going to places where there are drug dealers and getting your hands on them. With pornography it's in your home or really anywhere you go (with your phone) and you can get it for free (obviously there are tons of people paying for it otherwise it wouldn't be a multi-billion dollar business).

Recently I read something from one of the saints in that we must learn to control the passions because when we give into them we tend to do things that we do not want to do. Giving into sin isn't always doing something that we want to do in spite of know it's wrong, it's also giving in to doing things that you do not want to do. Many people who have a porn problem get to the point where they don't really "like" porn anymore and they don't want to even do it anymore, but their passions take over and they get stuck doing it again and again. Then after they come down from that high, the shame and anger at being unable to control themselves hits like a ton of bricks.
Blood of Christ, relief of the burdened, save us.

“It is my design to die in the brew house; let ale be placed in my mouth when I am expiring, that when the choirs of angels come, they may say, “Be God propitious to this drinker.” – St. Columbanus, A.D. 612
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#6
bless you man, cos of same confusion
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#7
So i made it back to reconciliation, kinda puts things into perspective of where i have come from in this battle to where i am. I don't know how long I will prevail this time. probably not so much the concern as long as I keep trying. I do remember how extremely frustrated I found things to be, that the pornography industry, probably cares less about who sees their material than cigarette companies care about how they advertise or flavor their products.

Difference i guess being one isn't a sin, but can cause cancer, an is addictive.... weird.

but to be a teenager, and being all impulse and zero to no self control, I find to be , unfair, against something so provocative. An even more so, that at those teenage years, talking about pornography, with parents; never happened and even more so was never brought up in an sense of the idea of talking about it in religious education at any level. An then to just be told well it is a sin, more over a mortal sin, so don't look at it ever. really isn't helping or educating anyone. An for me I see it as a two prong issue to approach, from parents and religious education. Pornography is beyond easy to access now than it was in the 80s or 90s, heck, ya got basic cable that is pushing the envelope as much as it can let alone pornography. I just wish there was a more in depth approach to the subject for both boys and girls, and young teens. AND PARENTS, cause what parent out there wouldnt cringe at having to talk about this subject with their children, who probably have heard a lot just on the playground in between classes . And having to make choices, and being ready for consequences of ones actions, and what role things are from an addiction to sin stand point and what culpability is, so that one doesn't develop scruples and become paranoid. Anyone remember that passage in scripture about adultery, where Jesus and i am paraphrasing, mentions something to the degree if one lusts after a woman in his heart he has committed adultery. Well, there is no definition of exactly what Jesus meant by lust, so that leaves a big open road to interpretation and then having to explain the context of what was said. That alone drove me batty as a teen, and i didn't know what scruples was as a teen , so every time i looked at a female it was ah great now i done did it. An all i could do was fear, what in the world am i going to do if i cant even control my imagination or thoughts. It is things like that as a young boy that i was left alone to figure out. An i didnt for a very long time . I can't even begin to comprehend from a female perspective how this problem is addressed.

All i know is turning a blind eye to the problem, an saying, just do what i tell you, an be quiet, isn't helpful. or say something like ,I love you Jesus three times and poof problem solved.

So all i know is I came under attack from an industry and sin at a young age, unprepared, and had a lot of my life ripped from me, a lot of time wasted. An if age has done anything it has helped me realize this, and to want to break from it all. an to keep reminding myself, of the progress that has been made. the seeds of faith that were planted along the way to get me on the brink of breaking a horrible addiction.
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