Obligated to Confess?
#1
If one is in a state of mortal sin and has an opportunity to confess, are you obligated to do so? 

My boyfriend had an opportunity to Confess last night but said he didn't feel ready. It really upset me because I didn't want him to persist in a state of mortal sin all week. 

I confessed but did not receive Communion since it was partly my fault that he committed mortal sin in the first place.
St. Joseph, Terror of Demons, Pillar of Families, Glory of Domestic Life, Pray for Us!

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.
Reply
#2
(12-10-2018, 12:31 PM)SacraCor714 Wrote: My boyfriend had an opportunity to Confess last night but said he didn't feel ready. 

I take what is written above as he was not yet ready to repent.  If that is the case, then I don't think he had any obligation.  Confession, or at least absolution thereof, can only occur when one is sorry for their sins.  Otherwise, the Act of Contrition would be said falsely.
Reply
#3
I will say that when I don't get my butt to confession soon enough out of despair or-what-have-you I typically include as one of my accusations against myself presumption of God's forgiveness and mercy. But one definitely needs to be contrite on some base level before they can confess, so with that in mind, maybe he just needed more time to arouse the proper disgust for his sins.
Ave Christus Rex!
Reply
#4
(12-10-2018, 12:31 PM)SacraCor714 Wrote: If one is in a state of mortal sin and has an opportunity to confess, are you obligated to do so? 

My boyfriend had an opportunity to Confess last night but said he didn't feel ready. It really upset me because I didn't want him to persist in a state of mortal sin all week. 

I confessed but did not receive Communion since it was partly my fault that he committed mortal sin in the first place.

I too had the same question but was quickly resolved when I finally went to confession and the priest (FSSP) strongly suggested that the sin should be confessed as soon as possible since the chance might occur that one would suffer death prior to confession and then would die in the state of mortal sin. The sooner the better I feel now. One should not gamble with time, thinking they have time to "feel ready" to confess, just hoping their life doesn't end before confession, dying in mortal sin. One falls out of Gods grace in mortal sin. To share, having read some of your previous postings, I too have had problems with pornography and masturbation, the latter being mortal sin (viewing pornography only, not acting on it, is a venial sin of impurity). Most post Vatican (Novus Ordo) priests will say it is part of being human and not look at it as quite a mortal sin but pre Vatican SSPX, FSSP, of which I belong, do not beat around the bush with this subject: it is mortal sin. In addition, sex prior to marriage is the same. God Bless!
AD JESUM PER MARIAM !
Reply
#5
I won't disagree that masturbation is a mortal sin, although comparing pre and post VII ideals on the subject is difficult because since VII we've had a pornography explosion in the world where it's everywhere and you don't have to leave your house to get it. I do wonder how past theologians would have dealt with this topic.
Blood of Christ, relief of the burdened, save us.

“It is my design to die in the brew house; let ale be placed in my mouth when I am expiring, that when the choirs of angels come, they may say, “Be God propitious to this drinker.” – St. Columbanus, A.D. 612
Reply
#6
He needs to truly feel remorse, to be contrite, for it to mean anything.  So yes, let him do it in his own time and not just to please someone.
Reply
#7
He didn't not confess because he wasn't repentant, but because he said he felt he didn't have sufficient time to prepare. He had several days... It usually only takes me a few minutes to prepare and examine my conscience. He said it would be a worse sin if he made a poor confession. I don't know what to think. I'm worried about his soul and upset that I played a part in compromising his purity. If he were dating a different woman he wouldn't have these problems.
St. Joseph, Terror of Demons, Pillar of Families, Glory of Domestic Life, Pray for Us!

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.
Reply
#8
(12-10-2018, 12:57 PM)Genitorigenitoque Wrote:
(12-10-2018, 12:31 PM)SacraCor714 Wrote: If one is in a state of mortal sin and has an opportunity to confess, are you obligated to do so? 

My boyfriend had an opportunity to Confess last night but said he didn't feel ready. It really upset me because I didn't want him to persist in a state of mortal sin all week. 

I confessed but did not receive Communion since it was partly my fault that he committed mortal sin in the first place.

I too had the same question but was quickly resolved when I finally went to confession and the priest (FSSP) strongly suggested that the sin should be confessed as soon as possible since the chance might occur that one would suffer death prior to confession and then would die in the state of mortal sin. The sooner the better I feel now. One should not gamble with time, thinking they have time to "feel ready" to confess, just hoping their life doesn't end before confession, dying in mortal sin. One falls out of Gods grace in mortal sin. To share, having read some of your previous postings, I too have had problems with pornography and masturbation, the latter being mortal sin (viewing pornography only, not acting on it, is a venial sin of impurity). Most post Vatican (Novus Ordo) priests will say it is part of being human and not look at it as quite a mortal sin but pre Vatican SSPX, FSSP, of which I belong, do not beat around the bush with this subject: it is mortal sin. In addition, sex prior to marriage is the same. God Bless!

I hate to start up an issue, but viewing pornography is likely a near occasion of mortal sin and therefore just viewing it is likely a mortal sin, as one is not permitted to place oneself on a situation where they are likely going to commit mortal sin.
Reply
#9
(12-10-2018, 02:48 PM)A_Fellow_Catholic Wrote: I hate to start up an issue, but viewing pornography is likely a near occasion of mortal sin and therefore just viewing it is likely a mortal sin, as one is not permitted to place oneself on a situation where they are likely going to commit mortal sin.

Only one correction here, otherwise you're spot on : Viewing pornography is a mortal sin, not merely an occasion.

If someone willfully looks at pornography he has sinned mortally. Period.
[-] The following 1 user Likes MagisterMusicae's post:
  • St. Camillus
Reply
#10
(12-10-2018, 12:31 PM)SacraCor714 Wrote: If one is in a state of mortal sin and has an opportunity to confess, are you obligated to do so? 

My boyfriend had an opportunity to Confess last night but said he didn't feel ready. It really upset me because I didn't want him to persist in a state of mortal sin all week. 

I confessed but did not receive Communion since it was partly my fault that he committed mortal sin in the first place.

One is obliged to confess as soon as reasonably possible. If he does not he may commit more sins, presuming on God's Mercy, for instance, a sin against Hope, which means one will lose that virtue, which makes eventually confessing more difficult.

That said, for a valid confession one has to have at least attrition (imperfect contrition) which is to hate one's sins for a supernatural motive. Perfect Contrition is to hate one's sins because of Perfect Charity. Attrition is to hate one's sins for any other supernatural motive. Classically, not wanting to suffer the eternal punishments of Hell and the loss of Heaven are imperfect contrition, but any supernatural motive is sufficient for absolution.

Since it is supernatural, however, it cannot be caused by us. It is not a matter of time or working ourselves up to being sorry. It is the matter of God giving the grace. Were we in the State of Grace, we could merit and thus be in a certain way "owed" grace. When not in the State of Grace it is purely the Mercy of God that provides the necessary grace to return to Sanctifying Grace. It is not us. Were we to think so it would be the heresy of the Pelagianians. We can not do any naturally good action and reap supernatural rewards for it. Supernatural rewards are either free gifts of God without having merited them, or they are due because of a supernaturally good action which is based on Charity, which requires Sanctifying Grace.

If God freely grants the grace of attrition or contrition and a soul says, "I'm not ready," then he's refusing the grace and God may never give it again, and certainly never owes it to him again, hence the Ignatian adage : "Fear Jesus passing by and never returning." Grace is given once, and if refused that same grace is never given again. Maybe another, but never the same one.

If we refuse the grace to repent, God may never give it again. That is why when it comes, we must take it and act on it within reason.

Without at least attrition, one would make an invalid confession, so if one is not sorry for his sins he cannot and must not confess. If he has been given the opportunity to confess, however, he probably has also been given the grace and if he does not it is probably likely he has refused it, and thus committed another sin of presumption and infidelity.

It is worthwhile to point out here, however, if you and your boyfriend are in the state of mortal sin, the problem isn't confession. The problem is that your relationship is not a Catholic one governed by Christian morals and values. Like in the other thread the problem isn't his failure to confess or your bad feeling that you've been part of the cause of his being one breath away from Hell. The problem is the relationship. If you even have the opportunity for such sins, something is seriously wrong, deadly wrong. That's the problem.

If you cannot set yourselves up to habitually avoid the occasions of such mortal sins, then you're not worthy candidates for absolution anyway. Sorrow for sins requires purpose of amendment. If one is not willing to take the ordinary means to avoid sin, and one do not at least have a firm desire to fix the problems and set oneself up for a moral and Catholic relationship, one is not truly sorry and does not make valid confessions. A firm purpose of amendment doesn't me we won't fall again, or that we won't go slack and fall back, but if we are not taking the normal ordinary means, then we're not really sorry.
[-] The following 4 users Like MagisterMusicae's post:
  • jovan66102, Knight Hospitaller, Some Guy, TheQueenMother
Reply




Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)