Trusting Your Spouse
#1
Anyone have suggestions on growing in trust with your spouse ?
Some people say “If you can’t beat them, join them." I say “If you can’t beat them, beat them,” because they will be expecting you to join them, so you will have the element of surprise.

St. Mary of Egypt, Ora Pro Nobis!







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#2
(01-09-2019, 12:32 PM)SacraCor714 Wrote: Anyone have suggestions on growing in trust with your spouse ?

You better trust him/her before they become your spouse
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#3
(01-09-2019, 04:28 PM)Bohemond Wrote:
(01-09-2019, 12:32 PM)SacraCor714 Wrote: Anyone have suggestions on growing in trust with your spouse ?

You better trust him/her before they become your spouse

Agreed!
Jovan-Marya of the Immaculate Conception Weismiller, T.O.Carm.

Vive le Christ-roi! Vive le roi, Louis XX!
Deum timete, regem honorificate.
Kansan by birth! Albertan by choice! Jayhawk by the Grace of God!
  “Qui me amat, amet et canem meum. (Who loves me will love my dog also.)” 
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My Blog 'Musings of an Old Curmudgeon'


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#4
I concur with Jovan and Bohemond. If there’s something about your potential spouse that’s making you nervous or distrustful, you need to address that before marriage. 

Without knowing the specifics behind the question, my thoughts are to talk to him about what if anything is making you nervous or distrustful.
-sent by howitzer via the breech.

God's love is manifest in the landscape as in a face.  - John Muir

I want creation to penetrate you with so much admiration that wherever you go, the least plant may bring you clear remembrance of the Creator.  A single plant, a blade of grass, or one speck of dust is sufficient to occupy all your intelligence in beholding the art with which it has been made  - Saint Basil

Heaven is under our feet, as well as over our heads. - Thoreau, Walden
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#5
Trust is built over time.
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Day to day living, seeing stable, predictable behavior, and being stable and predictable yourself.  That doesn't mean you can't surprise each other with new ideas, surprise dinner, "hey, let's go on a Disney Cruise".   But you have to take the time to learn each other and know, pretty well, that if "A" happens, your spouse will do "B".
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For example, you are in the horse business.  So, if a bad storm comes and something happens in the barn, you need to know that your spouse will do what needs to be done to fix the problem and will be able to prioritize the work properly.  Or, if your spouse has his/her last $20, what will he/she do with it?  Buy milk and bread?  Put gas in the truck?  Or beer and lottery tickets?
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Or, if your spouse is traveling for work, you know that your spouse goes back to the hotel alone.  And that takes time and experience.
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Then, there is the Something Big Happens.  Someone has a car accident.  Someone loses a job.  Someone has cancer. How will your potential spouse handle these big things.  Some people don't handle the Big Things well, not at all.  You can't wait until Something Big Happens to see how your potential spouse will act, but if you know him well enough, you have an idea whether he is strong enough to get thru the crisis.
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IF you have doubts, don't get married until the doubts are resolved.  It is better to be unmarried or alone than to be married to the wrong person.  I was married for many years.  I am now a widow.  I would love to find someone to spend the rest of my life with, but I know I am better alone than to make a mistake just because I am lonely - easy to say, I know, since I am older and have already had the husband and kids and house and dogs, and you, very naturally and normally,  want all of that, but still, please believe me, being married to the wrong person (not necessarily a bad person, just the wrong person for you) is not fun and marriage lasts a very, very, very long time.  Divorce sucks.  Really sucks.  Child support sucks.  Living in poverty with a small child sucks.  Sharing custody with someone you can't get along with,  and the problems that come with it, sucks.
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Take your time to get things right.
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#6
(01-09-2019, 12:32 PM)SacraCor714 Wrote: Anyone have suggestions on growing in trust with your spouse ?

Hard to say...With regard to what? Everyone has areas of strengths as well as weaknesses. Can you give us a little more to go on?
Who is she that cometh forth as the morning rising, fair as the moon, bright as the sun, terrible as an army set in array? 
Canticle Of Canticles 6:9
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#7
Marriage is not an easy route, people think celibacy is more difficult, but in truth it requires a lot of humility (as in ego-eating) and prayer to have a successful marriage. You have to do what is necessary for the good of your spouse and you, and that may require you to have to change your ways and thoughts. Which is why prayer and making Christ the center of your marriage so vital for the sustainability of it. Either it will end in divorce, or leave a sordid taste in both of your mouth.
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