Please forgive me if I’m driving everyone crazy, but was this a sin?
#1
OK, so I’ll try to be to the point and not rambling:

I’m legitimately prescribed some medications by a psychiatrist.  My official diagnoses are OCD and ADHD.  I take a number of medications — the ADHD medication in particular (Vyvanse) has been pretty life changing.  Since taking it, I’m more prayerful, more attentive to God and meditative, and in a professional capacity FAR more productive.  It basically just gives you a calm focus. (I should also note that I’m currently weaning off some other meds that were probably not the best choices, which were prescribed by general practitioners).  My psychiatrist is a very highly respected professional, and I can see why, as the combination I’m currently on has really enhanced my mental state.

HERE’S THE SIN QUESTION:
I also take a short acting benzodiazepine for sleep, as I’ve been an insomniac for most of my life.  This medication works for me remarkably well, and I’m prescribed 5 tablets of 0.25mg strength (so, 1.25mg).  Anyways, last night I was late getting to bed, as I wanted to get all the household chores done THEN, rather than Sunday.  I got into bed WAY too late, and, once I did, I was still a bit wound up from the hurried cleaning.  So, I took another 0.25 tab.  Was this a sin?


I took Communion this morning anyway, because I thought I was just being scrupulous and paranoid.  What do you guys think??.  
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#2
"My official diagnoses are OCD and ADHD."

Scrupulosity is a religious manifestation of OCD. I think you fit the bill, saying this as someone who used to have a big problem with it.

My suggestions:

1) Read this and follow it carefully, regardless of how it makes you feel. This is important. You will not be comfortable at first. You have to ignore the discomfort of not knowing and move on. It will train your brain to see actual sins, see the venial nature of sins you aren't sure about (full knowledge is a requirement for mortal sins), and rest in the mercy of God instead of trying to figure it all out on your own.

https://www.fisheaters.com/scruples.html

2) Find a good confessor and stick to him like glue. Tell him you have scruples and ask about the sinful nature of things inordinately. Follow everything he says. 

3) Going back somewhat to my first point, stop making threads like these, regardless of how it makes you feel, and trust that God will convict you of sin and let you know what kind of sin it is/was. Even venial sins are easy to spot, at least once you stop picking apart even non-sins. A healthy brain will see, "Oh, I lost my temper. That was wrong," or, "I shouldn't have taken twenty dollars out of my friend's wallet. That was really wrong." That isn't to say that it isn't a good idea to ask for help or opinions on certain things that really blur the line or look like a potential grey area; sometimes it's good to get a second opinion. But if you're asking if getting an ultrasound is a sin, there's a problem. Likewise, there's a problem if you find yourself wondering about the sinfulness of swallowing chapstick on your lips before Holy Communion, not giving the priest a monologue of your whole life history (or the entire period in-between Confessions) in the confessional, or doing jumping jacks. There are other kinds of scrupulosity that include various preoccupations with sin or Confession and they all boil down to a lack of trust.

Also, it may help to do some Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy or some other kind of counselling to work out family-related issues you may have had. Do you have a close family figure who has made you nervous? Do you feel like you have to walk on eggshells around him or her? Do you feel like whatever you do for them isn't good enough and they're only happy when you're doing exactly what they want? This could have led to your scruples, as you have now been trained, in a sense, to be hyper-alert and on the lookout for any problems that may upset or anger the family figure.

I hope this helps. It does get better if you stay really focused on curing the problem. Now, you will likely find that your OCD moves to other things (maybe germs or the concern about harming your loved ones, pets, etc), but you won't have the scruples anymore, and you will also have the life skills to discipline whatever form your OCD takes (unless God heals you).

God bless!
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#3
(01-13-2019, 12:56 PM)In His Love Wrote: "My official diagnoses are OCD and ADHD."

Scrupulosity is a religious manifestation of OCD. I think you fit the bill, saying this as someone who used to have a big problem with it.

My suggestions:

1) Read this and follow it carefully, regardless of how it makes you feel. This is important. You will not be comfortable at first. You have to ignore the discomfort of not knowing and move on. It will train your brain to see actual sins, see the venial nature of sins you aren't sure about (full knowledge is a requirement for mortal sins), and rest in the mercy of God instead of trying to figure it all out on your own.

https://www.fisheaters.com/scruples.html

2) Find a good confessor and stick to him like glue. Tell him you have scruples and ask about the sinful nature of things inordinately. Follow everything he says. 

3) Going back somewhat to my first point, stop making threads like these, regardless of how it makes you feel, and trust that God will convict you of sin and let you know what kind of sin it is/was. Even venial sins are easy to spot, at least once you stop picking apart even non-sins. A healthy brain will see, "Oh, I lost my temper. That was wrong," or, "I shouldn't have taken twenty dollars out of my friend's wallet. That was really wrong." That isn't to say that it isn't a good idea to ask for help or opinions on certain things that really blur the line or look like a potential grey area; sometimes it's good to get a second opinion. But if you're asking if getting an ultrasound is a sin, there's a problem. Likewise, there's a problem if you find yourself wondering about the sinfulness of swallowing chapstick on your lips before Holy Communion, not giving the priest a monologue of your whole life history (or the entire period in-between Confessions) in the confessional, or doing jumping jacks. There are other kinds of scrupulosity that include various preoccupations with sin or Confession and they all boil down to a lack of trust.

Also, it may help to do some Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy or some other kind of counselling to work out family-related issues you may have had. Do you have a close family figure who has made you nervous? Do you feel like you have to walk on eggshells around him or her? Do you feel like whatever you do for them isn't good enough and they're only happy when you're doing exactly what they want? This could have led to your scruples, as you have now been trained, in a sense, to be hyper-alert and on the lookout for any problems that may upset or anger the family figure.

I hope this helps. It does get better if you stay really focused on curing the problem. Now, you will likely find that your OCD moves to other things (maybe germs or the concern about harming your loved ones, pets, etc), but you won't have the scruples anymore, and you will also have the life skills to discipline whatever form your OCD takes (unless God heals you).

God bless!

I don’t know you personally, but you clearly have a profound insight into the human heart.
I actually do have a Spiritual Director, and he’s quite good. I’ll take your advise and bring these things to him — and of course, to God — when they afflict me.

I think more than anything, in matters of genuine scrupulousness, it’s really a matter of saying “Lord, I trust in your mercy, your providence, and your justice”, and then, once you can see that you didn’t willfully try to offend God (unless you’re being willfully ignorant, e.g. getting blackout drunk on purpose and then saying “I didn’t mean any harm!”), you return to quiet mental prayer with God, offering Him always your gratitude for gifts you receive every moment.

Thanks for the link.  I’ll be reading it today!  God bless you.
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#4
It was not a sin to take medicine in that way, but be very careful about abusing those medications as they are addictive. Also, please don’t ever be afraid to ask questions here when you are sincerely seeking answers.
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#5
(01-13-2019, 01:23 PM)FultonFan Wrote: I don’t know you personally, but you clearly have a profound insight into the human heart.

I actually do have a Spiritual Director, and he’s quite good. I’ll take your advise and bring these things to him — and of course, to God — when they afflict me.

I think more than anything, in matters of genuine scrupulousness, it’s really a matter of saying “Lord, I trust in your mercy, your providence, and your justice”, and then, once you can see that you didn’t willfully try to offend God (unless you’re being willfully ignorant, e.g. getting blackout drunk on purpose and then saying “I didn’t mean any harm!”), you return to quiet mental prayer with God, offering Him always your gratitude for gifts you receive every moment.

Thanks for the link.  I’ll be reading it today!  God bless you.

That's very kind. Thank you.

I think you'll find that he will help you a great deal. I personally had two of them helping me for a while, and it was their advice that really set the healing into motion. For example, if/when you ask questions like, "So can I leave the past in the past?" and he says, "Yes," then you can bring it to mind later: "Fr. -Name- said I could leave the past behind, so I'll stop re-confessing this particular sin or being worried that I left something out of my last Confession."

Yes, that's it. And by doing that, you drive the devil nuts.  Wink

You're welcome! God bless you as well. And be encouraged! Lots of saints once struggled with this problem. There is hope and healing for it.
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