Difficulty with addiction
#11
Congratulations on the amount of time you've spent sober! That's great! Don't let all that hard work and time spent away from heroin go to waste. Friendship with Jesus is far better than any drug, especially one you have to use a needle to inject. Gross! Please don't harm that friendship by going back to heroin.

Look at this picture by Stephen Sawyer. You are connected to Jesus by Baptism; you are part of His Body. Your actions can bring Him joy or they can hurt Him. 

Please don't do this.

[Image: CALVARY.jpg?format=500w]

I will remember you in my Rosary today. God bless you and stay strong.
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#12
Of course we will pray for you.
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Since you have a huge financial investment it is logical to work to make things go well.  Providing for yourself and your family is a good thing, but I certainly understand being pulled in two different directions.
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With the very long hours I wonder if there is an Narc-Alon or Al-Anon meeting you can attend on a lunch hour?  Not all meetings are at 7pm.
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Having lost someone I was close to to addiction.....have you found what it is that is triggering the cravings?  Overly tired?  Too much human interaction?  Stuck in the same room for hours at a time? Pressure to succeed?  Pressure to please others?   Bright lights?  Yes, the time may come when you have to make a choice.  Always, always choose sobriety, even if it means losing your investment.  Your family and friends, even those you are working with, would choose sobriety for you.
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Good luck.
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#13
I am sorry for ghosting on this post. I've been terribly busy at the store - tonight is the first night I am sleeping at my home and not in the upstairs inventory room. I want to thank you all for your prayers. All thanks is due to God - but your prayers certainly helped. I no longer feel an urge to use. I happened upon a bit of inspiration last night that I'm keeping to myself - and my director - but this bit of having to step back into the world to find a way to earn my way is part of the path of the eremitical life I guess. I have to be able to support myself - and a retail store where I can eventually live off my dividends from my investment is a very good way to do that as once it is established I no longer need to be there beyond managing a website/SEO...and that is a perfect job for a hermit my director says.

I felt like I was losing my way, and in my weakness allowed myself to lose my trust in God. I wasn't losing my way, though. I was shown that it's not all sunshine and roses living alone and praying all day. Things will be difficult. Alone, I can not survive it - but a true hermit is never alone even when entirely isolated. God is with me. I needed to learn to trust in Him again.

Thank you all for your prayers, words of encouragement, and kind thoughts. I needed them. I am adding a perpetual novena to Ven. Matthew Talbot to my daily prayer schedule...because there have to be others out there who are also struggling with exactly what I have just gone/will go through in the future.
I am in the process of discerning my vocation with the help of my priest. If you would like to read my thoughts as I progress through this process of discernment feel free to visit my blog: https://walkingthelittleway.com
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#14
I don't come around here much anymore but i decided to pop by and saw this post.  As a long time addict i had to say something.  

You're stronger than I am, and way more successful financially.  You actually started and sold a business and started another one even in the midst of your addiction.  You're a smart savvy guy. You were able to beat opiates and walk away.  Don't go back to that life no matter what.  

My prayers are with you man.  Stay strong.
Walk before God in simplicity, and not in subtleties of the mind. Simplicity brings faith; but subtle and intricate speculations bring conceit; and conceit brings withdrawal from God. -Saint Isaac of Syria, Directions on Spiritual Training


"It is impossible in human terms to exaggerate the importance of being in a church or chapel before the Blessed Sacrament as often and for as long as our duties and state of life allow. I very seldom repeat what I say. Let me repeat this sentence. It is impossible in human language to exaggerate the importance of being in a chapel or church before the Blessed Sacrament as often and for as long as our duties and state of life allow. That sentence is the talisman of the highest sanctity. "Father John Hardon
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#15
Oh, my. Only just saw this. I am adding my prayers to all the above.
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#16
If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.

Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me."


Take nothing for the journey—no staff, no bag, no bread, no money, no extra shirt."

Your need for long-term care is entrusted to God, through my prayer and the prayer of this community. God, with God, back to your hermitage and be at Peace.
"Punishment is justice for the unjust." Saint Augustine of Hippo
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#17
I'll keep you in my prayer intentions.  :pray2:
Oh my Jesus, I surrender myself to you. Take care of everything.--Fr Dolindo Ruotolo

Persevere..Eucharist, Holy Rosary, Brown Scapular, Confession. You will win.
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