Can I receive communion?
#1
Okay, so my Grandma and I are going to church tomorrow. I’d say this is only the few times I get to go to church since my Dad doesn’t believe in God, my Mom is what I’d say a non practicing Catholic and my Grandma would also pretty much be labeled under that too, even though she’s a bit more religious than my Mom and Dad but doesn’t often go to church. Since my parents and grandparent don’t go to church that means I don’t either, since I have no one to drive me because I’m under the age of 16. Anyway, tomorrow when I do go to church I have to take communion and I’m afraid that I’m in mortal sin. My grandma will make me take communion or she’ll question me, or maybe even let me sit down but afterwards throw this whole rant in the car about my “refusal to take communion.” Before anyone asks “Why don’t you just go to confession” I’ll explain why I can’t. Since the household I live in is pretty much non practicing Catholic or an Atheist they won’t let me go to confession leaving me to go to my Catholic School’s annual confession that’s every year in December. That’s a long time from now, and with my Grandma I’ll have to take communion. I’ll have to do this twice because we are going tomorrow because of Palm Sunday and Easter. If I were to take it would I be committing more mortal sins? What does the church say about difficult situations like these and if I were to die before confession would I be headed to hell?
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#2
(04-13-2019, 08:29 PM)NattyNat1230 Wrote: Okay, so my Grandma and I are going to church tomorrow. I’d say this is only the few times I get to go to church since my Dad doesn’t believe in God, my Mom is what I’d say a non practicing Catholic and my Grandma would also pretty much be labeled under that too, even though she’s a bit more religious than my Mom and Dad but doesn’t often go to church. Since my parents and grandparent don’t go to church that means I don’t either, since I have no one to drive me because I’m under the age of 16. Anyway, tomorrow when I do go to church I have to take communion and I’m afraid that I’m in mortal sin. My grandma will make me take communion or she’ll question me, or maybe even let me sit down but afterwards throw this whole rant in the car about my “refusal to take communion.” Before anyone asks “Why don’t you just go to confession” I’ll explain why I can’t. Since the household I live in is pretty much non practicing Catholic or an Atheist they won’t let me go to confession leaving me to go to my Catholic School’s annual confession that’s every year in December. That’s a long time from now, and with my Grandma I’ll have to take communion. I’ll have to do this twice because we are going tomorrow because of Palm Sunday and Easter. If I were to take it would I be committing more mortal sins? What does the church say about difficult situations like these and if I were to die before confession would I be headed to hell?

Can you and grandma get to Mass early and see if a priest can hear your Confession?
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#3
(04-13-2019, 09:00 PM)FultonFan Wrote:
(04-13-2019, 08:29 PM)NattyNat1230 Wrote: Okay, so my Grandma and I are going to church tomorrow. I’d say this is only the few times I get to go to church since my Dad doesn’t believe in God, my Mom is what I’d say a non practicing Catholic and my Grandma would also pretty much be labeled under that too, even though she’s a bit more religious than my Mom and Dad but doesn’t often go to church. Since my parents and grandparent don’t go to church that means I don’t either, since I have no one to drive me because I’m under the age of 16. Anyway, tomorrow when I do go to church I have to take communion and I’m afraid that I’m in mortal sin. My grandma will make me take communion or she’ll question me, or maybe even let me sit down but afterwards throw this whole rant in the car about my “refusal to take communion.” Before anyone asks “Why don’t you just go to confession” I’ll explain why I can’t. Since the household I live in is pretty much non practicing Catholic or an Atheist they won’t let me go to confession leaving me to go to my Catholic School’s annual confession that’s every year in December. That’s a long time from now, and with my Grandma I’ll have to take communion. I’ll have to do this twice because we are going tomorrow because of Palm Sunday and Easter. If I were to take it would I be committing more mortal sins? What does the church say about difficult situations like these and if I were to die before confession would I be headed to hell?

Can you and grandma get to Mass early and see if a priest can hear your Confession?

No, my Parents and my Grandma don’t believe in confession so they won’t let me go.
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#4
TAKE MY WORDS WITH A GRAIN OF SALT

  

Sounds like a stressful situation, but ultimately your family can't make you receive Communion.  They may put you in an awkward position, question you, and insult you, but that by itself would not justify receiving Communion IF(note: IF) you know you're in a state of mortal sin.  Indure the situation in patience and humility.  

 -"if I were to die before confession would I be headed to hell?"

If you're trying to do everything in your power to receive the Sacraments but you simply don't have the means, God will not punish you for that.  In Confession both Perfect Contrition(Sorrow for sin due to love for God) and Imperfect Contrition(Sorrow for sin due to hatred of sin and fear of Hell) are forgiven.   That said, a person who has Perfect Contrition is by that fact already forgiven by God(that does not mean you are not still obligated to go to Confession when the means to do so becomes available, you would still need to do so before receiving Our Lord).    

Make a habit of praying the Act of Contrition at least daily(ask God to help make all the things said in the prayer become true).  God will provide.  

The Act of Contrition
O my God, I am heartily sorry for having offended Thee, and I detest all my sins, because I dread the loss of heaven and the pains of hell, but most of all because they offend Thee, my God, who art all good and deserving of all my love.
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#5
Nothing your grandmother could say or do to you would be greater than the spiritual harm you would incur, at the peril of your very soul, of taking Communion in a state of mortal sin. It is a sacrilege. You understand this, too, as you brought the matter up, saying as much.

You should find a way, any way, to receive the sacrament of reconciliation. But, barring that because of these unusual circumstances, you must not take Communion unworthily. Instead, present yourself to receive a blessing rather than Communion. This is much more common than you might think and is signaled by crossing the arms like this when you approach:

https://maristmessenger.co.nz/wp-content...essing.jpg

Or stay in the pew. Your grandmother will not make a scene. And if she says anything, tell her that you are not spiritually prepared to receive Our Lord.

Your family may be more willing to allow you to go to confession if you simply say that you want to talk with a priest. If they send you to Catholic school, surely they are not opposed to that.
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#6
You are 16 years old and you cannot drive yet.
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You can get to confession once a year at school around Christmas time.
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No other opportunity to go to confession or communion because you are 16 and cannot get to Mass and Confession on your own and your family forbids it.
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I honestly don't know "the rules", but I believe they include going to Confession at least once a year and receiving Communion at least once  a year.  If you feel you are free from mortal sin (missing Mass is not a mortal sin for you since you are still, legally, a child and cannot get to Mass yourself) then it should be OK to receive Communion.
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In the future, talk to a trusted teacher/non/priest  at school, explain the situation and ask if there is an opportunity for you to go to Confession more often at school.  Sometimes you can even receive Communion outside of Mass (people who are in a hospital, home sick or in a nursing home can have Communion brought to them, so maybe this is possible, with the approval of a priest).  Some Catholic schools have an early Mass before classes start, maybe you could get to school early sometimes??
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Juggling your wishes with those of your family can be difficult.  You are on the right road, keep going.  Someday soon, sooner than you think, you will be able to do things as you wish.    Be patient and understand that God sees everything;  God knows everything.  He knows your troubles.    God loves you, more than you can imagine.
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#7
Given your legal status and since you're to a degree being forced (I say to a degree because this situation has multiple layers), I would recommend contacting a priest via a friend's cellphone as soon, as you are able to. Whether you receive or not, silently speak with Jesus, especially if you choose to. God's mercy knows no bounds, and if you do receive nothing changes the fact that his true presence is there and that he loves you, no matter the state of your soul.

That said, get to confession ASAP. Maybe if you have a friend who is having a sleepover you can stealthily schedule one. 

I wish I had a more definitive answer, but I must say I am proud of you at 16 for going against the grain of our "if it feels good do it" world.


I will offer up your intentions when I go to Mass today.
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#8
Hi again everyone. I just went to church and it was surprisingly better than expected. I told my Grandma how I did not want to receive communion and she let me sit down, she also did not have a huge rant in the car about it either. Thank you everyone for your help.
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#9
A thought about how to fix the situation for you :

Is there a priest who teaches there or visits from time to time during the week? If so, ask the priest to go to confession during your school day.

Is there a church nearby the school or somewhere else you go? If so, call up and schedule a time.

If that doesn't work, perhaps a good priest would come to you and visit at the school to hear your confession. Call up the parish and ask to speak to the priest and explain your situation. I'd bet that if you called an FSSP or SSPX priest near you and asked about this, he might make the effort to come and visit for a confession. Heck, I know some SSPX priests who have heard confessions in airports, airplanes, cemeteries, etc. A good priest will go out of his way to help you, if you truly have no better options.

Prepare now for the chance to do so, so if the chance presents itself you're ready to confess.

Examine your conscience, make a mental list of your serious sins and the number of times (or frequency) you commit them. Call them by their name, and don't explain or make excuses (this is especially true for sins of impurity, which are common and if one is fully aware of what he is thinking or doing are always mortal, frequently thought venial and often embarrassing to tell, so left off or said in a euphemistic way). So, say, "I stole X", or "I had willful impure thoughts" or "I committed masturbation". Don't just say "I was impure" or "I did bad things". Get the number as close as you can or a frequency (I've done X five times a week for the last year).

Get it all clear in your head beforehand, so you're ready to tell it all when you have the chance.

We'll certainly be praying for you.

Also, it might be good to get your license and be able to drive. I know a priest who was in a very similar situation to you when he was your age. He started taking himself to Mass every Sunday, found the Traditional Latin Mass, fell in love with it, and eventually after college went to the seminary. Perhaps God has the same kind of plans in mind for you. Whatever His plans for you, do what you can to get to Mass as often as you can and set up things so you can start taking yourself if others won't take you.

Perhaps you could also get a ride from a friend sometime? I'd bet there are some good traditional Catholics in your area that would happily pick you up for Mass on Sundays, or take you for other things like confession.

There are solutions around, just think creatively, and pray for God to give you a fix for this.
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