struggling badly with prayer
#1
Hi all.  Over he past few days, I have had a STRONG pull toward the Rosary but I just cannot bring myself to say it.  I feel ashamed thus fearful and I want so bad to make the plunge and say it.  I don't truly understand it but I want the strength to just recite it.  I have been out of the Church over a year and I always find myself praying for the strength to get to Confession.  I know Mary always leads us to her Son i.e. the sacraments so is it possible I am receiving a calling from the Holy Spirit to allow Mary to lead me?

I desperately need prayers as this cloud of torment hovers over me.

Thanks so much.
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#2
of course prayers!!!
Pray Pray Pray

If I may make a humble suggestion: when you feel the pull to the rosary, right then and there, try to pray just 1 decade.  Build up your spiritual muscles a bit to where the one decade feels comfortable and then add a second decade.  Maybe it will feel less overwhelming...
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#3
Friend,

Don't sit down to say the Rosary, sit/kneel down with the Rosary in hand and start with a single prayer on it.  See where that takes you.
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#4
It's good that you have this pull toward the Rosary! May I make a suggestion?

Do you think you could commit to just one decade a day for now? That's about two or three minutes of your time. There is a group called the Living Rosary, which assigns you a Mystery to pray and meditate on every day, for the triumph of the Immaculate Heart of Mary and the honor of St. Philomena, who is the patroness of the Living Rosary. They will also send you a really great magazine twice a year, free of charge. From their website:

"Through our union of charity in prayer and intention, this spiritual remedy is 'injected' into the souls of all who participate as "spiritual medicine". In this way, those who are strong uphold the weak; those who are fervent inspire the lukewarm and the spiritually rich enrich the poor: BRING THEM TOGETHER AND YOU HAVE A FURNACE! One who prays the Rosary alone receives the grace of one Rosary but, if he is united with many, he gains the graces and merits of the whole."

I'm a part of the Living Rosary and I can tell you that it's a wonderful Association.

If you're interested, here is the link: http://philomena.org/signup.asp

I really think it would help you.

God bless you!
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#5
Thank yall for the advice and I will certainly check out the Living Rosary. Last night was horrible. I woke at 3a full of fear and terror. The usual house noises would send chills down my back. I heard the door knob shake twice accompanied by a slight panic attack. I turned the light on about 3:10 and the whole time trying to say as many HM's as possible. Since this battle started, the nights have been rough. I keep a blessed Rosary hanging over my bed post but didn't seem to help much last night.
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#6
(05-14-2019, 09:16 AM)capmchuck Wrote: Thank yall for the advice and I will certainly check out the Living Rosary.  Last night was horrible.  I woke at 3a full of fear and terror.  The usual house noises would send chills down my back.  I heard the door knob shake twice accompanied by a slight panic attack.  I turned the light on about 3:10 and the whole time trying to say as many HM's as possible.  Since this battle started, the nights have been rough.   I keep a blessed Rosary hanging over my bed post but didn't seem to help much last night.

Perhaps you could hold the blessed Rosary and/or carry it on your person? I often carry a Rosary in my pocket and it's amazing how it helps! You find all kinds of opportunities for prayer in line at the grocery store or while you're in the car, for example. You could also wear a blessed Sacramental, such as a Brown Scapular or Miraculous Medal, and ask Our Lady to calm your fears and drive out anything that is causing those noises. At Lourdes, the demons fled when Our Lady simply looked over at them sternly.

I would also suggest the possibility of asking a priest to come and bless your house. That may help. 3 am is the inverse of the hour Jesus died on the cross. I don't think it's a coincidence that your attack occurred then.
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#7
I would also suggest the St. Michael prayer as well. I wish you well in your battle.
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