Stuck in Debt...Help Please
#11
(06-14-2019, 02:07 AM)MaryTN Wrote:
(06-12-2019, 09:13 PM)yablabo Wrote:
(06-12-2019, 11:44 AM)SacraCor714 Wrote: I am sorry for the long post. I feel like I only come here when I need something. Thank you all for reading Heart

It's a bad situation.  Find a hiding place and start putting what amounts to $20/week in it.  Don't take anything out of it for a long time and don't tell anyone about it, not even your husband.  If your husband is as reckless with money as you describe, he will never notice as long as you don't say anything.  You can accomplish this by cashing your paycheck from Kroger before depositing the funds if you keep a bank account.  If your husband does notice, and asks you about it, don't hesitate to tell him the full truth, though.

Once you reach $1500 (approximately 1-1/2 years at $20/week), put it in an envelope as your emergency fund to cover one month's expenses in case you bring in no money for a whole month.  Continue stashing the $20/week and more if you can get away with it.

Go out to eat with your husband if he wants.  Defer to his judgment as long as what he wants is not mortal sin.  But you need to take care of business, too, if you've chosen a bad husband who will not do so, at least for the sake of your children.

Yes, squirrel away money.  $5 here, $20 there and don't tell anyone.  Hide it good.  Bury it in a can in the garden.  Pull up the edge of the carpet under the dresser.  Tape an envelope to the bottom of your own dresser drawer and fill the envelope.  Think of some creative spot.  Putting money inside a sock in your drawer is not a good hiding place.  Under the mattress is not a good spot.    But hide money for an emergency.  Do not be ashamed of this.  Do not feel guilty of this.  You are doing this to protect your family.  And if he straightens up, keep your little stash a secret anyways, just in case.  It sucks, I know.

I like the idea of squirreling money away. I do that. But too many hiding spots and I'd be likely to forget where I put some of it. Also, how much would be legitimate to hide before it'd be sinful? I could see socking some money away for emergencies, but only to an extent. If it became a significant amount, I'd think a married person would be obligated to at least let the spouse know.
"Not only are we all in the same boat, but we are all seasick.” --G.K. Chesterton
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#12
(06-17-2019, 02:22 PM)JacafamalaRedux Wrote:
(06-14-2019, 02:07 AM)MaryTN Wrote:
(06-12-2019, 09:13 PM)yablabo Wrote:
(06-12-2019, 11:44 AM)SacraCor714 Wrote: I am sorry for the long post. I feel like I only come here when I need something. Thank you all for reading Heart

It's a bad situation.  Find a hiding place and start putting what amounts to $20/week in it.  Don't take anything out of it for a long time and don't tell anyone about it, not even your husband.  If your husband is as reckless with money as you describe, he will never notice as long as you don't say anything.  You can accomplish this by cashing your paycheck from Kroger before depositing the funds if you keep a bank account.  If your husband does notice, and asks you about it, don't hesitate to tell him the full truth, though.

Once you reach $1500 (approximately 1-1/2 years at $20/week), put it in an envelope as your emergency fund to cover one month's expenses in case you bring in no money for a whole month.  Continue stashing the $20/week and more if you can get away with it.

Go out to eat with your husband if he wants.  Defer to his judgment as long as what he wants is not mortal sin.  But you need to take care of business, too, if you've chosen a bad husband who will not do so, at least for the sake of your children.

Yes, squirrel away money.  $5 here, $20 there and don't tell anyone.  Hide it good.  Bury it in a can in the garden.  Pull up the edge of the carpet under the dresser.  Tape an envelope to the bottom of your own dresser drawer and fill the envelope.  Think of some creative spot.  Putting money inside a sock in your drawer is not a good hiding place.  Under the mattress is not a good spot.    But hide money for an emergency.  Do not be ashamed of this.  Do not feel guilty of this.  You are doing this to protect your family.  And if he straightens up, keep your little stash a secret anyways, just in case.  It sucks, I know.

I like the idea of squirreling money away. I do that. But too many hiding spots and I'd be likely to forget where I put some of it. Also, how much would be legitimate to hide before it'd be sinful? I could see socking some money away for emergencies, but only to an extent. If it became a significant amount, I'd think a married person would be obligated to at least let the spouse know.

I would choose only one hiding place and I'd keep building that stash until I could pay off some serious debts.  As long as he doesn't notice and miss the money, it makes no difference.
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#13
(06-17-2019, 08:34 PM)yablabo Wrote:
(06-17-2019, 02:22 PM)JacafamalaRedux Wrote: I like the idea of squirreling money away. I do that. But too many hiding spots and I'd be likely to forget where I put some of it. Also, how much would be legitimate to hide before it'd be sinful? I could see socking some money away for emergencies, but only to an extent. If it became a significant amount, I'd think a married person would be obligated to at least let the spouse know.

I would choose only one hiding place and I'd keep building that stash until I could pay off some serious debts.  As long as he doesn't notice and miss the money, it makes no difference.

To expand on what I was trying to get across:  If a man marries a woman and then dictates that she must go out and earn money, that money she earns by her labor is hers.  I don't believe anywhere in church teaching would show that this woman does not own what she has earned.  That being the case, if it makes no difference to getting by day-to-day in the house, she should stash what she wants.  She can use that stash legitimately for anything outside of sin because it is hers.  However, if she saves it for a rainy day or to make a single lump-sum payment of a large debt, then it would make her saving meritorious.
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#14
Don't you do web design? As a freelance web designer you could make a killing and never leave your house. It isn't easy to build a portfolio or profile, but maybe your church has some IT needs you could use to start building yourself up. From there you showcase what you do start building a network. Free website for free ad in the bulletin? I think that is a fair trade.
Local anti-feminist.....if you think women deserve special treatment without any accountability for their actions expect to hear from me!
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