isn't dating non-christians a sin
#5
(08-20-2019, 02:15 AM)katie76 Wrote: Not spending time alone together at all? How do you get to know eachother well? I really want to get away from the evangelical "courtship" thing.  :s  Do you mean just not going to your houses alone?

Yes. Don't set yourselves up for the opportunity to do anything impure, so not time alone in private. Go out to dinner, take a walk together, etc. Just don't be in a place or situation where you can easily fall. Don't go over to his house to cook him dinner without someone else around. 

That's actually even more important after engagement. It's really easy to think "well we're getting married anyway" and fall into sins.

If you keep the dating ordered, then the marriage will be, too. Marriage doesn't change the passions. If willing to do impure things before marriage, you will after as well.

In my experience the best marriages usually result from people spending time together with friends and family, because then they get to see what their significant other really is like. It's not a show or a veneer. You get to see them at their best and their worst. If he (or for a man she) can charm you and make it seem all so wonderful, but hide that darker side where they get angry, or demeaning, you may never see that until you see them around others, and in tough situations.

In that same experience, those who spend their whole dating life as an opportunity to be alone, even when they don't fall into serious sins, also don't really get to know each other very well, but think they do, because they never get to see real life situations. They only ever see the well-planned and orchestrated few hours each week, and phone conversations, and texts, etc.

At 20 years old, you're certainly quite ready for marriage as far as age goes. The question is more of maturity, and if you're looking to convert, probably gaining some stability in the Faith, since if marriage is for you, then you'll need to figure out how to be a good Catholic mother, which isn't just about having babies, but also learning to raise them well. Since the general rule I've heard from most traditional priests is that a courtship shouldn't last more than about 1-2 years (since if you haven't figured out if he's the one by then, he's probably not), and then engagement no more than 6-12 months, when you think you're about 2-3 years out from being ready for marriage, then is the time to start dating, or at least consider allowing a decent Catholic man to show interest.

Best way to meet good Catholic men, though, will be at Church and after making some good devout Catholic friends. Don't be afraid to consider people a bit out of your age range (nothing too drastic), but two of the best marriages I've seen are couples with about a 10 year age gap. They work very well, and have produced great Catholic children. Two of the most down-to-earth families I know.

I see you're in Aussie. We have a handful of Aussies here on the forum, I have a few traditional Catholic friends down under, especially across the ditch, and know a handful of traditional priests, so if you need some good Catholic contacts, please let me know by PM or reach out to the other Aussies on FE.

Again, welcome, and do, if you have any questions about the Faith, feel free.
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Messages In This Thread
isn't dating non-christians a sin - by katie76 - 08-19-2019, 02:05 AM
RE: isn't dating non-christians a sin - by piscis - 08-19-2019, 02:37 AM
RE: isn't dating non-christians a sin - by MagisterMusicae - 08-20-2019, 04:05 AM



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