Has the Church stated exactly when anger becomes grave (or even mortal) sin?
#1
My understanding is that normal impatience is usually a venial sin.
I’ve also heard (at least I think so) that anger only reaches MORTAL sin if it rises to the level of murder. (I assume this would also include attempted murder).
What about a very serious, nasty argument with a family member?
I think, obviously, one should seek to immediately pray for the grace of perfect contrition.
But would a very serious argument be considered a mortal sin?

When I look through the web, I tend to see lots of “the way I look at it” posts.
It’s good that people reflect on their spirituality, but what does the Church say? And of course, what does Christ say? Even anger in the heart was clearly harshly condemned.

But it’s here that I don’t want to determine my own opinion based on my interpreting Scripture. The Church is the expert, as the Church is the very soul of God (the Holy Ghost).

So again, when does the Church say anger is mortal sin?
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#2
Anger is not a sin.

Anger is a passion, like fear. Fear is meant to help an animal avoid or prepare for some pending evil. Anger is meant to help an animal seek after a difficult to obtain good. If animals have these passions along with us, then they cannot be sins, in themselves.

Fear can be used badly: One can lack fear and fail to prepare for the evil, or recoil from evil even if it is not likely to occur. So too with anger, one can fail to have enough anger in the face of an evil which is difficult to overcome, or can become more angry than a situation justifies. We can do this because our passions are disordered.

But anger is most certainly justified in certain cases, if used well. The Apostle tells the Ephesians (4:26) : "Be angry and sin not." Clearly if anger is commanded, but we are commanded to avoid sin, this must be possible. Many also misread the next line : "Let not the sun go down on your anger" to suggest that you should make up before sundown. Nope. It means "do not cease to be angry." The context is that we must always fight the devil, and that battle requires the Christian soldier to be angry at what the devil is doing and what we have done and are capable of doing, and thus to protect ourselves from sin and fight. A battle requires the soldier become angry, but not to the point of stupidity.

So the question is not did you get angry, but what did you do when you became angry. That will answer you questions.

In short, no, there is not some clearly defined standard, but that does not mean that there is not some objective standard.

For instance, a vehement argument with a family member, who needed to be corrected over some grave evil, might not be sinful at all. If it were over a trifle, then of course its sinful.

If the anger leads to things which are gravely sinful, then it is a grave sin. If you want to harm someone or kill them, clearly we've crossed the line. If you simply become impatient, clearly we have not.

So, confessing "anger" is not to confess a sin. Rather, what you should look at is what virtue you violated, if any, as a result of your anger. Did you sin against Charity, or Justice? Against prudence?

That's a much better way of looking at what you actually did, or failed to do, which was sinful.
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#3
I once became so angry at liturgical abuses in a Mass that I felt I couldn't receive Holy Communion. When I confessed to an orthodox Priest, I was informed that I had not sinned, that it was, 'Righteous anger, Holy anger!'
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#4
Good topic. Im surprised and a bit disappointed that there isn't a RCC definition of anger and sin as FultonFan is seeking.
A few weeks ago I was watching a video of a catholic priest explaining things that people often confess that aren't actually sins.
One of them was anger which I was surprised to hear. 
Fulton said "Even anger in the heart was clearly harshly condemned"  Which is what I also thought. 

But the father on this video was saying that the feeling of anger in itself is not a sin. How one chooses to react to this feeling can lead to sin.
If a persons anger leads them to murder, violence, aggression, abuse, rumors, harassment, etc then it becomes a sin.

That's why I remember learning never to act towards a person out of hate or anger cos it almost certainly leads to sin.

Harbouring resentment and anger is really damaging to our spirit and soul which is why forgiveness is a huge lesson taught by Jesus. 
Im so grateful to have received an almost sudden realization, undoubtedly from the Holy Spirit, of how the resentments that I still held against loved ones had corroded our relationship.

I got my family together the next day where I gave heartfelt apologies that spawned tears. I asked for forgiveness and promised to try and never hold such resentments again. The relief that I received was indescribable really. Like a huge weight off my shoulders mixed in with a bright light that now shone over the darkness which was blinding me.
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