What was your religious background?
To add something here, it took me a while after baptism to become orthodox, and we are always striving to become orthodox, anyway.

I studied and dabbled in neo-pagan spirituality and ritual, too, and read about Thelema, but while these practices were enriching in some respects, I never experienced transformation which is my desire.

Of course, Jesus always remained central to my devotions, along with our Blessed Mother. And one day I knew that I must rest in them, and I know them because of the holy Catholic Church.

Along the way I have said traditional prayers to old saints, but when I was on a neo-pagan spectrum, I "fed" the saints, in a symbolic fashion, but still with physical offerings.

One night I had an encounter, and it seemed as though the communion of the saints was present and orchestrated everything, with our Mother and another being in the forefront. And I thought I might die, but I recited the Jesus prayer, and I was kept safe, as this happened in a wooded area!

That is all I will say about such things that I don't understand. But it eventually led me to convert to Catholicism. The Church contains every good thing I ever discovered or engaged with in alternative spiritualities.

It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God, but in the Catholic faith I've learned to do just that with trust and love in our blessed Lord Jesus.

Thanks be to God for all his mercies! I ask you to pray for me, a sinner!

I couldn't after my prior spiritual formation and journey bear the modern liturgy except on occasion during a weekday with no music.

You see, to someone of a high Anglo-Catholic background, and to someone who engaged also in private rituals in a neo-pagan setting, rituals and liturgies are holy, sacred, filled with power, if we approach them prayerfully, humbly, and properly disposed.

I see the old Latin mass celebrated with the devotion, prayer, and awe befitting to so sacred a mystery. That is what feeds my soul and strikes me, pardon my Anglican background, as "proper."

Even a "well celebrated" Novus Ordo disturbs my heart because of the prayers that have been eviscerated.

As someone who has previously engaged with theatrical rituals, I remember the care and precision I put into each word and act. And that was private devotion. How the Church could have possibly replaced the Roman Rite with the state of modern liturgy is simply appalling to my sensibilities, and as I continue to educate myself, I think my sensibilities are correct.
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RE: What was your religious background? - by everbecoming2007 - 02-07-2020, 06:51 PM

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