Where's the Line for Catholic Sexuality?
#21
(04-02-2020, 09:41 PM)Orthodox Andy Wrote: I wouldn't call it self control more as lack of opportunity in my case. As in there just aren't a lot of single females who aren't heavily damaged white trash around here, period. Though I suppose I am overweight and have poor social skills, so that is never a winner either. 

As regards sin, yes, you are right that we should never be astonished. I was starting to learn how to fast and to avoid all the porn junk after I got baptized. Until coronavirus shut down all the churches, and I was deprived of communion. I fast reverted back to my lizard brain of just seeking physical gratification. I suppose it's a reminder that I just do a better job of covering up some of my problems than others. The only good thing about being away from church is I am forced to face up to myself on my own terms. And I see that I am no better than anyone else. If one can be gripped by a carelessness for God, to be consumed by food, drink, or lust..... where does it end? Man is capable of horrible things without restraint. 

A lot of people do seem to imply, especially since I have been baptized, that maybe a woman would be a positive force in my life. Who knows.

That's so sad the girls are all like that now. :(  Tragic.

Well, God and St. Raphael are known to find people good mates!  And girls can repent and change.

And a hobby or two that you really enjoy (bonus if it provides exercise) is always a good thing. :)
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#22
(04-02-2020, 09:48 PM)Sacred Heart lover Wrote:
(04-02-2020, 09:41 PM)Orthodox Andy Wrote: I wouldn't call it self control more as lack of opportunity in my case. As in there just aren't a lot of single females who aren't heavily damaged white trash around here, period. Though I suppose I am overweight and have poor social skills, so that is never a winner either. 

As regards sin, yes, you are right that we should never be astonished. I was starting to learn how to fast and to avoid all the porn junk after I got baptized. Until coronavirus shut down all the churches, and I was deprived of communion. I fast reverted back to my lizard brain of just seeking physical gratification. I suppose it's a reminder that I just do a better job of covering up some of my problems than others. The only good thing about being away from church is I am forced to face up to myself on my own terms. And I see that I am no better than anyone else. If one can be gripped by a carelessness for God, to be consumed by food, drink, or lust..... where does it end? Man is capable of horrible things without restraint. 

A lot of people do seem to imply, especially since I have been baptized, that maybe a woman would be a positive force in my life. Who knows.

That's so sad the girls are all like that now. :(  Tragic.

Well, God and St. Raphael are known to find people good mates!  And girls can repent and change.

And a hobby or two that you really enjoy (bonus if it provides exercise) is always a good thing. :)

Thank you for the encouragement. I am trying to get more exercise in by running, and I do have hobbies, like working on my friends early 90s Ford truck, or going to aviation museums. Anyway, I don't wish this to devolve into a pity party over my problems. As regards the original post of this topic--that's really something for a priest to answer in the end. I will say as an outsider it seems a lot of Roman Catholics set arbitrary rules on sexual behavior (I am talking about within marriage between a man and a woman), or outright have an anti sex attitude. I could be wrong, but that is the impression often given to me, and my Orthodox, Protestant, and secular friends.
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#23
I think that is because the church opposes contraception and fornication, and Protestants (even some Conservative ones) have waffled on both; and the Orthodox have - for the most part - conceded on the former. 

Some Catholics actually do have an anti-sex attitude, but then again, so do many Orthodox and many secularists (MGTOW anyone?).

I think purity culture proved that the Protestant view of sex can be extremely arbitrary. My wife grew up Protestant, and I cannot believe some of the stuff she told me she heard, especially since some of her friends have the view that it's Catholics who are anti-sex.

Anyway, I could say stuff about how the Orthos often do this crap too, but you know, it's human, as you said, to over-correct, and I really don't see much evidence that any major branch of Chistianity has a monopoly on being f**ked up about sex.
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#24
Whats the difference between lust and thinking a girl is pretty?
Sexual attraction is logically neccesary for the perpetuation of mankind.
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#25
(04-03-2020, 11:03 AM)xsantiagox Wrote: Whats the difference between lust and thinking a girl is pretty?
Sexual attraction is logically neccesary for the perpetuation of mankind.

When you are at the point you are willing to sacrifice your dignity for a woman that could truly care less about you, you have discovered lust.
Local anti-feminist.....if you think women deserve special treatment without any accountability for their actions expect to hear from me!
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#26
(04-03-2020, 06:23 PM)divinesilence80 Wrote:
(04-03-2020, 11:03 AM)xsantiagox Wrote: Whats the difference between lust and thinking a girl is pretty?
Sexual attraction is logically neccesary for the perpetuation of mankind.

When you are at the point you are willing to sacrifice your dignity for a woman that could truly care less about you, you have discovered lust.

No, you have simply discovered lack of self-respect. 

Lust is simply inordinate sexual desire. In other words, when venereal satisfaction is sought for in a manner which is contrary to the laws that govern marital intercourse.
Te ergo quæsumus, tuis famulis subveni, quos pretioso sanguine redemisti. Æterna fac cum sanctis tuis in gloria numerari.
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#27
As Wittgenstein noted, to mark the boundaries of something is to already be able to see both sides of it. In other words, when we're looking for a "line," we're already implicitly crossing it. As Catholics, we should be looking to the heart or spirit of the matter, not its outermost boundaries.
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#28
We are all so deeply shaped by our culture and especially with regards to our sexuality by our upbringing.

While I have spoken elsewhere against the Jansenistic influence which negatively affected some of my friends and

definitely their mother's generation with regards to enjoying sex, I also have to acknowledge the lack of dignity, respect 

and reverence shown by more recent generations.

So while yes, God made our bodies beautiful and to be enjoyed as a gift to each other in Holy Matrimony, did he see the need to provide sex toys and porn for Adam and Eve to live fully their conjugal life?

Why or why not?

Those items may seem ordinary to recent generations, but most certainly were not available to generations past.

I guess I can't imagine why our bodies themselves would not suffice for marital intimacy.

If someone has a disability of sorts where medical aids are necessary to fulfill their marital duties then that seems a licit reason to find what help is available.

Otherwise, the enjoyment in a deeply personal and intimate relationship can unfortunately be ruined by turning each other into objects and the act into gymnastics which only cause a kind of "use" of each other for personal gain.

We should be seeking a sweetness and intimacy that doesn't devolve into debauchery.
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#29
FORGET the playing cards. No toys, no porn. Draw the line now and don't let him cross it. You don't need those things. You are making love to him, not a deck of cards or whatever else.

Sex with your husband should be about clearing your mind of all that crap. Certainly you can--and probably should--dress in something pretty and feminine. Something with lace, perhaps. Men as you know are so visual.
"Not only are we all in the same boat, but we are all seasick.” --G.K. Chesterton
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#30
People, esp. men as a group, can be a lot more sexually complicated that some here seem to think, and porn, etc., has nothing to do with it (at least not necessarily).
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