Dad Teaches Daughter Modesty by Embarrassment
#1
This! So funny. Just say no to daisy dukes. But seriously I'm trying to get my girls to understand the importance of modesty. It's not easy these days. Any thoughts on how to keep girls modest without "shaming" them?

"Not only are we all in the same boat, but we are all seasick.” --G.K. Chesterton
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#2
Maybe teach them to sew?
Qui me amat, amet et Deum meum.
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#3
(05-17-2020, 11:04 AM)Teresa Agrorum Wrote: Maybe teach them to sew?


Well, yes. Add to it great bonding time....There's that. That and not purchasing anything immodest to begin with, being as I know they're not intending to layer items for the sake of covering. But to what extent would you go, for example if your daughter acquired immodest clothing on her own? Would you throw it in the trash? What would you do?
"Not only are we all in the same boat, but we are all seasick.” --G.K. Chesterton
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#4
I have thrown immodest clothing away. But it would be far better to sit a child down and explain the facts:

The wearing of immodest clothing causes boys and men to sin, leading them to hell.

The wearing of immodest clothing says to everyone, including yourself, that you are nothing more than your body. Your hopes and dreams, and your desire to be treated with respect do not matter.

God, all His angels, and all His Saints are present at every moment--do you really want the Blessed Mother, your Mother, to see you in that [outfit]?

And so on. I'd better quit here. This is bringing back memories.
Qui me amat, amet et Deum meum.
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#5
I would have confiscated the clothing and returned it after altering it... for example with the daisy dukes, I would have cut them to form the top of a skirt and then added fabric to the bottom. I've seen some really cute examples that had an eclectic bohemian vibe. 

My goal is to teach my daughters (and sons!) to dress well, but classy; to help them develop a sense of personal style they enjoy but also pleases God. I feel that doing this helps prevent them from wanting to dress that way in the first place. Basically, give them a more wholesome identity of appearance that they can lean on against the examples of kids their own age. 

Reflecting back on my own experience as a teenager who sometimes dressed immodestly, at the root of it all I was looking for affirmation, and was mistakenly pursuing affirmation through the route of my peers finding me "attractive." So I hope to affirm my children in other ways that are much more valuable - build their confidence, and encourage their talents in ways that they are less inclined to seek that kind of feedback from their peers. If my kids are doing something that makes me proud or impresses me, they are going to know it. 

I'm not saying that parents struggling with their kids over this issue failed to do this. It's just that the times I received this kind of positive reinforcement gave me the confidence to avoid falling into complete lockstep with all the other girls at my public junior high and high school.
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#6
Thanks, ladies. I guess I'll just keep giving gentle reminders and be a good example. I won't throw anything out, instead ask them to layer the clothing.
"Not only are we all in the same boat, but we are all seasick.” --G.K. Chesterton
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