Husband upset that I took phone call from ex-boyfriend
#19
(12-01-2020, 06:17 PM)Credidi Propter Wrote: Maybe they need to really ask themselves if they truly trust their spouse. A man shouldn’t feel so threatened as to think the only way his wife can be faithful to him is for other men to simply not be there. If a man feels so intimidated by other men potentially stealing his wife, maybe they should work on their trust issues. Adultery very frequently begins simply with friendly familiarity from the opposite sex, so it is wise to be cautious, but there is a difference between showing due caution and protecting one’s spouse, and simply being insecure.

I'm not sure if this is a case of the husband being insecure.  This wasn't a 45-minute phone call with, say, a male colleague or a local father originally calling about some PTA business.  Such a conversation, even if it veered into casual talk, probably wouldn't be unusual.  But this was an out of the blue phone call with a man the OP dated for seven years and referred to as her first love.  I'm not saying the ex-boyfriend intended to do anything inappropriate.  None-the-less, her husband's reaction strikes me as very understandable, especially since she doesn't seem to think this is anything more than an overreaction on his part.  I'm not married and I haven't bothered dating in awhile but if I were in his shoes, I'd be quite upset with all this.  With the passage of 15 years, this ex could be a very different fellow now.  Is his marriage on the rocks?  How would I know?  Is he experiencing some midlife crisis, wants to turn back the clock? Again, how would I know?  Maybe his intentions were totally innocent, but given the few specifics we've been given here, I don't think he's being insecure.  I think the OP should ask herself if upsetting her husband is really worth having additional contact with this fellow.  Unless her husband is a control freak and trying to socially isolate her, I can see no harm in respecting him by declining further phone calls or talks with this guy.  And if hubby really is that kind of controlling type, therapy is desperately needed (not a new guy friend, which is asking for infidelity in such a bad situation).  So, perhaps you're right: maybe there are some trust issues that need work here.  As is often the case with questions like this, we have only a few details and only one side presenting the situation.
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RE: Husband upset that I took phone call from ex-boyfriend - by SeekerofChrist - 12-01-2020, 09:21 PM



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