My Vocation and Sin
#21
Something that might help is moving your computer to a public place in the home so that you can only use it for school and things that you wouldn't mind your parents seeing. 

If you struggle with seeking pornography at certain times of the day, let's say at night, you could ask your parents to shut off the internet at night so you can't get online. If they don't know about your struggles, just tell them that you find yourself wasting time on the internet when you should be sleeping/studying (which is not a lie, as porn use is a huge waste of time). I understand how embarrassing addictions like this are, and I commend you for sharing your battles on this forum with us. 

It is entirely possible to live without a smartphone and internet access. You can still write on a computer without internet access (I do this all the time, as writing is one of my hobbies) and then when I want to post my writing online, I just email it to myself and go to the library and use one of their computers. You may even be able to get permission to do your schoolwork or online classes on a library computer (most of the library computers have time limits, but if you explain that you are a student and need internet for school, they might make an exception). 

Overall, do not despair. Keep going to confession, keep running to Our Lady, keep doing whatever it takes to get back up and come back to the Lord after every fall. God does not expect us to be perfect, but He does expect us to keep trying. The end goal of Satan entrapping you in this sin is not to just get you to sin again and again and again, as Satan knows you will just go to confession. No, Satan's end goal here is to get you to stop trying, to stop asking for God's mercy. Satan wants you to despair and think "there is no hope for me, I may as well give up." Do not give in to his trickery. Even if you have a thousand mortal sins in your past, if you keep running to the Lord and asking for His mercy until the very last moment of your life, He will forgive you.

God knows how weak we are, and like I said before, He does not expect us to be perfect, but only to try as hard as we can, to trust in His mercy, and leave the rest to Him. He has given you a very heavy cross, and He will make sure that you are not crushed under it.
St. Joseph, Terror of Demons, Pillar of Families, Glory of Domestic Life, Pray for Us!

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.
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#22
(05-06-2021, 10:52 AM)SacraCor714 Wrote: Something that might help is moving your computer to a public place in the home so that you can only use it for school and things that you wouldn't mind your parents seeing. 

If you struggle with seeking pornography at certain times of the day, let's say at night, you could ask your parents to shut off the internet at night so you can't get online. If they don't know about your struggles, just tell them that you find yourself wasting time on the internet when you should be sleeping/studying (which is not a lie, as porn use is a huge waste of time).
Exactly. That's what I say, more or less, when people ask me why I don't have a smart phone.
Quote:You can still write on a computer without internet access (I do this all the time, as writing is one of my hobbies) and then when I want to post my writing online, I just email it to myself and go to the library and use one of their computers.
I don't quite understand how you would e-mail it to yourself if you don't have internet access. But you could put it on a USB stick.
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#23
(05-06-2021, 11:02 AM)Marmot Wrote:
Quote:You can still write on a computer without internet access (I do this all the time, as writing is one of my hobbies) and then when I want to post my writing online, I just email it to myself and go to the library and use one of their computers.
I don't quite understand how you would e-mail it to yourself if you don't have internet access. But you could put it on a USB stick.
Whoops, my bad, I meant to say put it on a USB stick!
St. Joseph, Terror of Demons, Pillar of Families, Glory of Domestic Life, Pray for Us!

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.
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#24
(05-06-2021, 10:52 AM)SacraCor714 Wrote: Overall, do not despair. Keep going to confession, keep running to Our Lady, keep doing whatever it takes to get back up and come back to the Lord after every fall. God does not expect us to be perfect, but He does expect us to keep trying. The end goal of Satan entrapping you in this sin is not to just get you to sin again and again and again, as Satan knows you will just go to confession. No, Satan's end goal here is to get you to stop trying, to stop asking for God's mercy. Satan wants you to despair and think "there is no hope for me, I may as well give up." Do not give in to his trickery. Even if you have a thousand mortal sins in your past, if you keep running to the Lord and asking for His mercy until the very last moment of your life, He will forgive you.

God knows how weak we are, and like I said before, He does not expect us to be perfect, but only to try as hard as we can, to trust in His mercy, and leave the rest to Him. He has given you a very heavy cross, and He will make sure that you are not crushed under it.
This is beautiful, SacraCor.
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#25
You are in my prayers. Something I've heard in a sermon, is that with temptations to impurity, it does NOT work to fight them directly. It only increases the temptation. What I mean is that you need to run from them. Either start praying - a Saint said that we cannot say Mary's name and commit mortal sin at the same time - and just keep saying Mary's name. I struggled with intrusive thoughts for some time and I started doing this, and it worked really well. I sometimes had to say Mary's name in my mind continually for minutes, but as long as I did this, I felt safe from any consent to the thoughts. Even though you described your sins as involving actions too, sinful actions start with sinful thoughts and suggestions. Try to stop it at the very beginning so it doesn't grow.

Since this has become a habitual sin for you, I think it's very important to take measures to avoid occasions of sin. It might mean moving your computer to the family room and somehow making it inaccessible in other ways/times. It might mean getting one of those old phones instead of a smart phone. But it's better to lose something in this life, than to lose our souls. If you are tempted to sin, try to do something concrete like praying to Our Lady non stop and then doing an act of mortification that would get your mind off the temptation. I think the key with growing in purity is fighting impure temptations right when they start.

Also, don't despair, because this would only make you weaker and paralyze your efforts more. Maybe it could help you to choose a Saint as a friend in this, someone who struggled with impurity but then became a great Saint - then you could turn to this Saint for intercession, but also they could be a reminder to you that you could still become holy even if you are struggling with this now. Perhaps St Augustine?

I am praying for you!
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#26
(05-07-2021, 11:35 AM)adoro.te.devote Wrote: You are in my prayers. Something I've heard in a sermon, is that with temptations to impurity, it does NOT work to fight them directly. It only increases the temptation. What I mean is that you need to run from them. Either start praying - a Saint said that we cannot say Mary's name and commit mortal sin at the same time - and just keep saying Mary's name. I struggled with intrusive thoughts for some time and I started doing this, and it worked really well. I sometimes had to say Mary's name in my mind continually for minutes, but as long as I did this, I felt safe from any consent to the thoughts. Even though you described your sins as involving actions too, sinful actions start with sinful thoughts and suggestions. Try to stop it at the very beginning so it doesn't grow.

Since this has become a habitual sin for you, I think it's very important to take measures to avoid occasions of sin. It might mean moving your computer to the family room and somehow making it inaccessible in other ways/times. It might mean getting one of those old phones instead of a smart phone. But it's better to lose something in this life, than to lose our souls. If you are tempted to sin, try to do something concrete like praying to Our Lady non stop and then doing an act of mortification that would get your mind off the temptation. I think the key with growing in purity is fighting impure temptations right when they start.

Also, don't despair, because this would only make you weaker and paralyze your efforts more. Maybe it could help you to choose a Saint as a friend in this, someone who struggled with impurity but then became a great Saint - then you could turn to this Saint for intercession, but also they could be a reminder to you that you could still become holy even if you are struggling with this now. Perhaps St Augustine?

I am praying for you!
Thank you so much for all of this beautiful advice! I will keep it in my heart to remember always!
“Take my advice and live for a long, long time. Because the maddest thing a man can do in this life is to let himself die.” 

“When life itself seems lunatic, who knows where madness lies? Perhaps to be too practical is madness. To surrender dreams — this may be madness. Too much sanity may be madness — and maddest of all: to see life as it is, and not as it should be!” 

- Don Quixote
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#27
This is my post here in FE, but I have lurked here on and off for many years.

Some years ago, I converted to Catholicism after a dabble with Pentecostalism. Along the way, I’ve picked up a few tidbits that might prove useful for you.

The first thing you ought to consider is discussing your thoughts on a call to Priesthood with your Priest, or get in touch with the Vocations Director at an order you feel called to serve. It might be that you don’t want to be a diocesan Priest, or belong to the ICKSP, FSSP, etc - but what they can do is answer questions you have, and help put you on the path to properly discerning where you are called to be - remember God’s will be done, not yours. They are also likely to be far more qualified to make a judgement on the issue of purity/impurity (and subsequently vows of chastity) than most, if not all, posters here on FE.

Next, find a regular confessor. This is really important, as they can get to know you, determine the extent of your culpability and tailor more specific advice for your spiritual growth. A Vocations Director might be able to put you in contact with a good confessor. 

I have heard this particular problem described like a weed. If you water it, it will grow and become harder to eradicate. If you do not water it (or poison it - with the sacraments, and prayer, that is!), it will die. Only you know what situations are problematic for you, and you need to avoid them.
Further to the analogy with the weed; poison or lack of watering, take time to have their effect. This is something one may have to bear for a long time; you have to keep starting again and persevere with the Sacraments and regular prayer. The parable of the Prodigal Son is good consolation for those of us struggling to persevere. 

There is also a comment on the previous page indicating impurity is a particularly common vice among traditional Catholics. I disagree, as it seems a bit like spurious correlation. In the secular world, the habit is promoted as healthy and normal, with the statistics suggesting that almost all males engage in it. Now consider those statistics on how many Catholics regularly attend Mass, Confession, believe in the Real Presence and so on… My suspicion is traditional Catholics are more likely to be aware of the moral teaching on this matter, AND want to live their lives accordingly.
The greater availability of Confession in traditionally-oriented Churches (and the resulting queues) versus a semi-typical Parish confession schedule of “once in a Blue Moon for 17mins and 32secs, after Saturday morning Mass, but not before morning smoko” probably skews the representation of this sin in the Confession, too.
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#28
(05-09-2021, 12:01 AM)TheRock Wrote: There is also a comment on the previous page indicating impurity is a particularly common vice among traditional Catholics. I disagree, as it seems a bit like spurious correlation. In the secular world, the habit is promoted as healthy and normal, with the statistics suggesting that almost all males engage in it. Now consider those statistics on how many Catholics regularly attend Mass, Confession, believe in the Real Presence and so on… My suspicion is traditional Catholics are more likely to be aware of the moral teaching on this matter, AND want to live their lives accordingly.
Welcome to the forum!

I think what Father Ripperger meant is that impurity is a particularly common vice among traditional Catholics compared to other Catholics who are serious about practicing their faith. I mean those who go only to the new Mass in their parish Church but accept the teaching of the Church, pray and frequent the sacraments.
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