Two Children Under Two....Help......
#1
Our second child will be born in just a few weeks (had to be a scheduled c-section since my first was an emergency c-section and they will be 14 months apart--the doctor did not recommend a vbac and quite frankly I don't want to go through the horrors of labor again). So soon I will have a newborn and a 14-month old, and I need all your advice. I am particularly concerned about breastfeeding, since my oldest constantly clamors for my attention and I know he will pitch a fit when I have to focus exclusively on feeding his brother every 2-3 hours. I don't want to just stick my oldest in front of the TV...not until I have no other option anyway. I guess you do what you have to do, one day at a time, to survive as a parent. 

Anyway, please give me all the advice you have.
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#2
Tips and tricks that worked for me:
1.  Audiobooks - I would set aside a wonderful book that I knew was well read and would enchant my older children.  I would put that on, feed the baby in the same room while he/they were listening and coloring or snuggling a stuffed animal.  Then when I was done and the baby was asleep, I would ask them to tell me all about it and share any art they had created.  
2.  Snacks - I tried to time feedings for snacks or meal times.  I would make up lunch/snack ahead of time.  Sit my child down to pray and eat.  Then while he/they were eating, feed the baby.
3.  Projects with duplos - I would make up some shapes with specific colors and sizes of duplos.  Take a picture and print it.  Then challenge my kiddo(s) to duplicate the shapes while I was feeding the baby nearby.  
4.  Chores and jobs - Even small jobs are "helping mommy with the baby" so little ones fetch diapers, hand me wipes, bring a blanket and are helping me along the way.  This makes them proud, makes them feel grown up ("all growed up" - according to my youngest) and gives them a sense of security: they are needed and important.  They get to be "bigger" when baby comes - which makes them feel more included.
5.  Bed time is separate for older and younger kids - Baby always went to bed before family dinner time (until they could eat with us) because (a) they needed the sleep and (b) older kids need my attention too.  We would talk and share stories of the day over dinner, read together afterwards, and snuggle to bed.  This gave my older ones a sense that they are important too and get dedicated mommy or daddy time.

Mostly, it's about finding a way to carve out time for one-on-one time in different ways and giving yourself pockets of time in which you are more productive.  I always enforce quiet time - even when naps are over - for independent reading, art projects, quiet play.  I've got 5 at home, so we live pretty much in each other's pockets all day.  That time apart reduces squabbles and makes for a more peaceful household.  It also gives me a guaranteed time in the day when I can focus on work, cleaning, and anything else horrid that must be done (like taxes, balancing the checkbook, etc.).  That lets me be more patient, calmer, and able to function when the kids are all around me wanting my attention.

Hope this is helpful to you!
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#3
I won't offer a long post of practical advice since I type so slowly, but I will offer my prayers. It can be done! We survived four averaging 22 months apart. We had at least one child under two for eight solid years. Bottles and diapers seemed never-ending. When the last one was through them, I swore I'd never change another diaper. Then I became a grandpa (and now a great grandpa)! LOL!
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#4
Is big brother still nursing or is he weaned?

In any event, you may want to consider getting yourself a very high level childsafe room with a comfy mattress. Line the child's toys or various child safe objects up on the other end of the room. While you are nursing, ask big bro 'can you bring me this?' 'can you bring me that?' then ask 'what is it?' 'What color is it?' Talk to big bro about describing it. 

I remember being pregnant with #2 and being utterly exhausted and #1  would bring me one of his toy dinosaurs from across the room. "Oh that's 'pachycephalosaurus' , then he'd bring me the next one, 'oh, that's styracosaurus', on and on it would go. over and over repeatedly. lol, that's how we spent our days.
Oh my Jesus, I surrender myself to you. Take care of everything.--Fr Dolindo Ruotolo

Persevere..Eucharist, Holy Rosary, Brown Scapular, Confession. You will win.
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#5
To avert jealousy somewhat, you might have a gift wrapped up for bro #1 and tell him it's from his new baby bro.
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#6
(06-11-2021, 01:43 AM)Ambrosiano Wrote: To avert jealousy somewhat, you might have a gift wrapped up for bro #1 and tell him it's from his new baby bro.
Our daughter got a doll when our son was born. She didn't care for it at all. However, several months later, she "discovered" the doll, and now our children are the mother and father of the doll, according to our daughter. So I am already a grandfather (maternal and paternal).
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#7
It may not seem easy at first, but 2 of mine are 18 months apart. When the infant grew a little they became friends too..and played together freeing me up to do home tasks.

My next was born 10 years later, so I had to busy myself keeping her occupied. We played together colored played store etc. A big chunk of time and her siblings helped but they had Thier own life.
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#8
Just wanted to say i found recovery from the one scheduled c-section, while still not easy, to be SO much easier than after the two emergency c-sections after intense labors and pushing. I hope yours will be a lot easier too! How long do they let C-section mothers stay in the hospital now? It was 5 days for me & like a mini vacay from husband and other children. Also husband & aunts took older child out regularly to make them feel special & give me “tethered to the milking stall” time.
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#9
I have three kids five and under, so I can sympathize with you. Take advantage of the ideas for distractions that the other ladies have given here. Idle older kids, at least mine, seem to have caught on that it's harder for me to immediately discipline them when I'm nursing my littlest. Older children may also pester your nursling and distract them while they eat. I usually set out coloring books, writing worksheets, or turn on a learning video (numbers, colors, letters and sounds, ect) for my kids when I nurse. They like listening to silly nurses rhymes too, though sometimes they beg me to dance and sing with them, which isn't helpful lol. 

As for jealousy, you might be surprised how your older son reacts. We were really worried about our two year old daughter when our newest baby came along. Once the baby arrived, she never threw fits or became angry or upset. She was instead adoringly glued to the baby, declaring, "I yike her!!!" and softly stroking her head. Maybe your boy might really like his little brother too.

If anything, the older ones at times smother me and the baby, all vying for my attention and physical closeness. This I remedy by small, constant, brief reassurance of my affection for them throughout the day. I don't pass them by on the way out of the room without a pat on the head or a smile. They get hugs and I love yous quite often. I try to notice when they do good, and I thank and praise them for it. An additional benefit of this is that they learn to communicate their affection for you too. I realize not all families are culturally comfortable being "huggy" or affectionate, but it works well for us.
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