Our Son's Behavior at Mass
#1
We have a 14-month old son who is just learning how to walk. Is it too much for us to ask of him at this age to sit quietly on our laps at Mass? I see other children his age who seem content to just sit with their parents. Perhaps it is just his personality? He is very independent, loves, to explore, and is just starting to get a toddler attitude when we prevent him from doing or having something he wants. My husband wants to practice having him sit quietly on our laps at home, even if it means we have to hold him down while he screams and struggles. 

I can't hold our son much anymore since he is 25 pounds and I am 9 months pregnant with a bad back and a hernia, so our son has become very used to not being held, and Mass is a nightmare for all of us since one of us always has to walk him around or else he pitches a fit.
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When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.
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#2
Our kids used to do time out at home even at that age for not sitting still.
It's young yes, and some may say step out. Bad idea. I think your husband is right.
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  • newenglandsun
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#3
To step out is rewarding bad behavior.
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#4
And it doesn’t get better if you wait until they’re older.
Benedic, anima mea, Domino, et omnia, quae intra me sunt, nomini sancto eius.
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#5
My two oldest were rather active as toddlers, so I can sympathize.  Taking him out of the Mass may not be a bad thing if he's being disruptive to others.  The key is that if he gets taken out, it's still not fun for him.  We wife or I (me if she was pregnant) would take the disruptive child out to the narthex, or parish center if they got really loud, and hold their hand so they couldn't run around or do anything.
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I want creation to penetrate you with so much admiration that wherever you go, the least plant may bring you clear remembrance of the Creator.  A single plant, a blade of grass, or one speck of dust is sufficient to occupy all your intelligence in beholding the art with which it has been made  - Saint Basil

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#6
Also, there were times we'd go to separate Masses once or twice a month, so we could focus and have a quiet Mass experience.  One weekend she'd go to the 730 Mass alone, then we'd go at 1030 as a family, next weekend I'd go to the early Mass.  Not ideal, but it gives you a chance to attend Mass and pray undisturbed, while still setting the standard for the kids of the importance of going as a family, and teaching them to behave.
-sent by howitzer via the breech.

God's love is manifest in the landscape as in a face.  - John Muir

I want creation to penetrate you with so much admiration that wherever you go, the least plant may bring you clear remembrance of the Creator.  A single plant, a blade of grass, or one speck of dust is sufficient to occupy all your intelligence in beholding the art with which it has been made  - Saint Basil

Heaven is under our feet, as well as over our heads. - Thoreau, Walden
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  • SacraCor714
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#7
Do you have any children's books which are "religious" in nature? Does your son like to look at picture books? That might help keep him occupied.

I guess we were lucky, our son had no issues sitting still when he was young for the most part. Only one time that I can remember having to take him out of Church during Mass. It was a one and done for him. He didn't like the results and tolerated Mass after that.

BTW, you need to feed that kid more. Our son weighed 26 lbs at 6 months. It was like a trip to the gym any time we had to carry him around.

Good luck.
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#8
(07-25-2021, 12:32 PM)SacraCor714 Wrote: We have a 14-month old son who is just learning how to walk. Is it too much for us to ask of him at this age to sit quietly on our laps at Mass? I see other children his age who seem content to just sit with their parents. Perhaps it is just his personality? He is very independent, loves, to explore, and is just starting to get a toddler attitude when we prevent him from doing or having something he wants. My husband wants to practice having him sit quietly on our laps at home, even if it means we have to hold him down while he screams and struggles. 

I can't hold our son much anymore since he is 25 pounds and I am 9 months pregnant with a bad back and a hernia, so our son has become very used to not being held, and Mass is a nightmare for all of us since one of us always has to walk him around or else he pitches a fit.

My boy was the same way. And I felt the same about other families too - "those kids are well behaved!". We just worked through it with time.
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#9
(07-27-2021, 08:24 AM)choosetowitness Wrote:
(07-25-2021, 12:32 PM)SacraCor714 Wrote: We have a 14-month old son who is just learning how to walk. Is it too much for us to ask of him at this age to sit quietly on our laps at Mass? I see other children his age who seem content to just sit with their parents. Perhaps it is just his personality? He is very independent, loves, to explore, and is just starting to get a toddler attitude when we prevent him from doing or having something he wants. My husband wants to practice having him sit quietly on our laps at home, even if it means we have to hold him down while he screams and struggles. 

I can't hold our son much anymore since he is 25 pounds and I am 9 months pregnant with a bad back and a hernia, so our son has become very used to not being held, and Mass is a nightmare for all of us since one of us always has to walk him around or else he pitches a fit.

My boy was the same way. And I felt the same about other families too - "those kids are well behaved!". We just worked through it with time.

This. We walked out many times. Kept going back. Eventually it sunk in.
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#10
Funny, we had our kids sit through the next mass until they got it right. We also sat across from St. Jude..
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