Love and Fear
(09-05-2021, 09:30 PM)joegrane Wrote: This is going to seem to be out in Left Field but it is my story. 

I was a healthy youth and have a couple degrees from the local seminary.  However in my late 20s my health had declined to the point I could no longer be a priest or do other white collar type work.  It was not for another 20 years that a functional medicine doctor stumbled on the possibility that heavy metal toxicity was involved in my list of symptoms. 

I had always been somewhat introverted and not at my best on a date.  However after my health greatly improved my personality changed somewhat as well.  I became less introverted and more comfortable in social situations.  A few years ago I met a woman on Catholic Match.  After a number of weeks of chatting in the group we had our first date.  It was EIGHT hours long and could have gone longer if I did not have a long drive ahead of me!  I was no longer that somewhat awkward, introverted guy on a date. 

For roughly ten years I worked for a non profit.  Part of my work involved supervising those with high level ASD as they received some career training.  I really connected well with them and received many compliments from the social workers who accompanied the youth.  I felt I understood them because in a way I had been one of them.    I understood how emotionally beaten up they can feel. 

I'm not pretending to know what is involved in your health struggles but I can tell you I was grateful when people shared some leads with me.  I had the advantage of being a healthy, respected youth with a bright future.  I knew something was wrong with my health.  I was looking for better answers.  It was not just that I had some unusual, but healthy personality or other pseudo-medical nonsense.

Some years ago a judge ordered the CDC to release data about a late 1990s study about the relationship  between high doses of mercury in the crazy 1990s vaccine schedule and various health problems.    The emails between the researchers showed they knew the infants who received the highest amounts of mercury from their vaccines had a 5x-7x increased risk of ADHD, ASD, Tics, etc.  They whitewashed the data so when they published the study it did not report a troubling problem.  Then they removed mercury from most of the vaccines for children, but not the flu vaccine many pregnant women receive.

The documentary movie, Trace Amounts, explains the incident above in some detail, the Verstraeten study.  I highly recommend that you view the entire movie, but this is the 10 minute clip about the study.

This is Dr. Burbacher briefly explaining his research on vaccine mercury in the brains of monkeys.

A couple of the professors interviewed were chairmen of chemistry or biology departments at major US state universities.  They express safety concerns and how mercury affects the brain and hormones.

Whatever happened with that woman you met? Did it go anywhere?
No more than the fear I have of winning the $200 million Powerball lottery.
Back then, I had tons of fear. Dating/courting is hard, and makes one vulnerable. You are opening yourself up to another human being, and usually its a stranger. That makes a person vulnerable, and causes one to have fear. You are giving up control of yourself, what makes you you in a sense, your desires, thoughts, history, etc, and sharing that with another. If you weren't afraid of doing that I would be honestly concerned lol.

Trust, and building a foundation together is the key. Values, faith, etc, ensure that is solid starting out (or at least you both recognize the defect and are consciously working to fix it). It will help ensure everything else is easier, you will have a stronger start of trust, a connection based on faith not just looks/desires (though those are important, they change and are not what should be the foundation). This then makes any romantic relationships much stronger, easier to navigate (both have the same boundaries/expectations etc), and less fear/second guessing.

I would not be too concerned about marriage. You will have issues in marriage, married just shy of five years and we are still learning how to talk with each other in a way that we both understand. You will constantly be working and improving together. Its a journey together that you both are working on, not an instant *poof* you guys are now married thus have your life together. I find married life actually to be alot easier then when I was dating, kids and taxes all included.

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