The whiny stage
#7
Time outs, but not to their rooms. If you tell them "go to your room," you're making their rooms a place of punishment. Later, when you say "go to your room and play" not as a punishment, it may feel punitive to some. To others, well, they tend to have lots of toys and a bed in their rooms. If it were me, I'd be thinking, "to my room? Sure! Don't bother me 'til dinner time!"

Get a little chair or box, set it in the corner, make the kid sit on it facing the corner, and have him stay there until he's calmed himself down. Tell him why he's being put in the chair, tell him he'll be staying there until he gets himself under control and to let you know when he's calm and/or sorry, but otherwise don't talk to him or interact with him in any way. Don't let him play with anything or read or take books with him, etc. It should be boring, with nothing to do or think about but facing his feelings and dealing with them. If he gets up, say nothing, but immediately grab him and put him back on the chair facing the corner, again saying *nothing*. Rinse and repeat, even ad nauseam. If both you and your husband do this and do it *consistently*, his tantrums will undoubtedly stop after no more than a week.

Again, don't talk to him while he's in the corner. At all. If he talks to you, ignore him (unless he speaks calmly to say he's done or he's sorry). 

When he's calm and off the chair, tell him you love him and talk to him about what set him off, and about how to handle anger or frustration. Teach him how to deal with the issue that set him off and what to do about (he wants attention? teach him to seek it in a better way. Jealous that another kid got something he didn't? Teach him how to get the same thing, that life's not fair, to find an alternative, etc.). 

More importantly, tell him it's OK to feel angry or frustrated, but he has to learn what to do about it. Teach him to calm himself down, to take deep breaths, to relax his body, to distract himself, to use words to express his anger appropriately, etc. Teach him the words he needs -- mad, angry, frustrated. Talk to him about all that, act the words out and explain their meaning. Give him the necessary language to convey his feelings.

All of this might make for a few exhausting days, but if you and your husband are both consistent with this and do exactly the above, everything will be likely be easier in a few days.

Also, you and your husband should check yourselves as to what you're modeling for the kid. Do you express frustration and anger appropriately? Scream? Throw things? (I'm assuming not, of course, just speaking generally and maybe for those reading over our shoulders...)
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Messages In This Thread
The whiny stage - by SacraCor714 - 09-13-2021, 03:15 PM
RE: The whiny stage - by AnaCarolina1 - 09-13-2021, 05:42 PM
RE: The whiny stage - by Jeeter - 09-14-2021, 10:58 AM
RE: The whiny stage - by Sword of St. Michael - 09-14-2021, 11:53 AM
RE: The whiny stage - by AnaCarolina1 - 09-14-2021, 01:24 PM
RE: The whiny stage - by Jeeter - 09-14-2021, 02:26 PM
RE: The whiny stage - by VoxClamantis - 09-14-2021, 04:12 PM
RE: The whiny stage - by AnaCarolina1 - 09-14-2021, 04:36 PM



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