does a man in this condition commit mortal sin?
#11
Only in very exceptional cases is a person obliged to get married. A typical example would be a king who needs a heir in order for civil war not to happen. In the vast majority of cases, a "vocation" to marriage implies no obligation to marry, not even under pain of venial sin. It is not altogether comparable to a vocation to the religious life or to the priesthood (which could imply an obligation). However, everybody has an obligation to be chaste, and take the means required for this. Marriage is a remedy for concupiscence, but it's not the only remedy. Refusing marriage and at the same time refusing other remedies (like mortification or fasting) so that one falls into mortal sins would of course be sinful. But on its own, remaining unmarried is not sinful at all.
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#12
(05-08-2022, 06:15 PM)Phoromporenor Wrote: a man who thought he had a vocation to marriage, but was rejected by a woman, and therefore never tried to have a relationship with a woman again, for fear of rejection, does he commit a mortal sin?

He should talk to a spiritual director and perhaps a therapist about his rejection issues. He should get close to God and make friends to overcome his loss so he can move on and find a spouse that is good for him.
“Love is sweeter than life.” -St. Isaac of Syria
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#13
(05-08-2022, 09:31 PM)HiberniaeFilius937 Wrote: how can you know for certain that marriage is your vocation?
I don't see how you can know that for certain. Perhaps your vocation is to remain a single person. Or perhaps it is best for you to remain single until (and if) you find the right person for you to marry.
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#14
(05-08-2022, 09:31 PM)HiberniaeFilius937 Wrote:
(05-08-2022, 06:15 PM)Phoromporenor Wrote: a man who thought he had a vocation to marriage, but was rejected by a woman, and therefore never tried to have a relationship with a woman again, for fear of rejection, does he commit a mortal sin?

Interesting question. I'd like to answer it with another question, though. The word "vocation" is derived from the Latin word voco, vocare, meaning "to call." So, a person might think their vocation is to marriage, but unless they're married or engaged, how can you know for certain that marriage is your vocation?

But I am of the opinion that God doesn't have one, very specific path/vocation for us besides becoming saints. Provided we're growing in holiness, I think God permits us to choose whether we'll get married or become a priest/religious. It also depends on the circumstances of your life, too, and whether or not you meet someone you'd like to marry or who wants to marry you. That's also true of seminaries and religious communities, for they, too, have to discern whether or not you'd be suitable for them.
After I watched this video, I started thinking/praying about what I said here and I want to retract it. 

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#15
(05-11-2022, 01:16 PM)HiberniaeFilius937 Wrote:
(05-08-2022, 09:31 PM)HiberniaeFilius937 Wrote:
(05-08-2022, 06:15 PM)Phoromporenor Wrote: a man who thought he had a vocation to marriage, but was rejected by a woman, and therefore never tried to have a relationship with a woman again, for fear of rejection, does he commit a mortal sin?

Interesting question. I'd like to answer it with another question, though. The word "vocation" is derived from the Latin word voco, vocare, meaning "to call." So, a person might think their vocation is to marriage, but unless they're married or engaged, how can you know for certain that marriage is your vocation?

But I am of the opinion that God doesn't have one, very specific path/vocation for us besides becoming saints. Provided we're growing in holiness, I think God permits us to choose whether we'll get married or become a priest/religious. It also depends on the circumstances of your life, too, and whether or not you meet someone you'd like to marry or who wants to marry you. That's also true of seminaries and religious communities, for they, too, have to discern whether or not you'd be suitable for them.
After I watched this video, I started thinking/praying about what I said here and I want to retract it. 

so if a man with a vocation to marriage can't get married due to continual rejection, does he go to hell?
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#16
(05-11-2022, 01:20 PM)Phoromporenor Wrote: so if a man with a vocation to marriage can't get married due to continual rejection, does he go to hell?
He may or he may not, but he will certainly not go to Hell for not getting married.
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#17
(05-11-2022, 01:20 PM)Phoromporenor Wrote:
(05-11-2022, 01:16 PM)HiberniaeFilius937 Wrote:
(05-08-2022, 09:31 PM)HiberniaeFilius937 Wrote:
(05-08-2022, 06:15 PM)Phoromporenor Wrote: a man who thought he had a vocation to marriage, but was rejected by a woman, and therefore never tried to have a relationship with a woman again, for fear of rejection, does he commit a mortal sin?

Interesting question. I'd like to answer it with another question, though. The word "vocation" is derived from the Latin word voco, vocare, meaning "to call." So, a person might think their vocation is to marriage, but unless they're married or engaged, how can you know for certain that marriage is your vocation?

But I am of the opinion that God doesn't have one, very specific path/vocation for us besides becoming saints. Provided we're growing in holiness, I think God permits us to choose whether we'll get married or become a priest/religious. It also depends on the circumstances of your life, too, and whether or not you meet someone you'd like to marry or who wants to marry you. That's also true of seminaries and religious communities, for they, too, have to discern whether or not you'd be suitable for them.
After I watched this video, I started thinking/praying about what I said here and I want to retract it. 

so if a man with a vocation to marriage can't get married due to continual rejection, does he go to hell?

No way!! In order to go to hell, you have to choose it, i.e., one of the three criteria to commit a mortal sin is deliberate choice.

Besides, I still stand by what I said about circumstances and holiness being our "first" (and, in this sense, our only) vocation. We can't know if we're called to marriage or priesthood or (fill in the blank) until external realities corroborate our interior convictions. So, to use your example of marriage. If a person think they're called to be married, then they should do whatever is in their power to both discern that desire and to prepare themselves to fulfill the obligations of such a state. So, if you're a man, that means making sure you can provide for your future wife and children by having a suitable job/career, but more importantly being a person of virtue and a practicing Catholic. But you won't go to hell for something you can't control.

Also, if a person is continually rejected, then that shows they need to change something about themselves (ex: developing better social skills or improving their hygiene). Most men, unless they're extraordinary attractive, get rejected more than they get accepted. Pray for perseverance and keep trying!! :)
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