``Where
the Bishop is, there let the multitude of believers be;
even as where Jesus is, there is the Catholic Church'' Ignatius of
Antioch, 1st c. A.D
Rebuilding: An Open Letter to Young People
Dear young
people,
Yours is a world
made chaotic by divisive and radicalizing social
media;
incessant porn; student debt; a wretched, usurious economy; the mass
immigration of unassimilable populations that despise you and your
country; fatherlessness; anomie; race-baiting identity politics;
a heated battle between the
sexes -- and governments that make laws supporting only one side in
that war. Even
the most basic of truths, such as that there are two sexes,1
are up for
grabs.
To live in this world now is like being lost at sea, with no horizon in
sight, no means of orientation, nothing
but fathom upon fathom of water in all directions, set to swallow us
up.
To survive, you have to orient yourself, to get a basic sense of things
so you
can know in which direction to start swimming. And Christ must be your
North
Star. While the waters of chaos swirl around you on all sides, know
that there is Truth, and that
the Truth is Christ. He is the starting point and your end -- the Alpha
and the Omega. And He is the Logos -- the
divine ordering Principle; once
your eyes are locked on Him,
you can begin to sort things
out. Over time, with grace, with work centered on studying His
Church's teachings, and with the willingness to sacrifice, things will
fall into place.
Above all, before anything, I urge you to pray, receive the Sacraments
regularly, and strive for virtue.
With regard to that last, break any addiction you might have to
pornography and masturbation. Recognize porn for what it truly is: a
tool of political control designed to make you docile, alienate you
from others, shame you, demotivate you, distract you from solving
your problems and getting on in life, and remove you from the gene pool
by making you sexually
powerless and unmarriageable -- and thereby, ultimately, destroying
your civilization by making family life impossible. It will bring you and your people to
temporal and
spiritual ruin in the end (listen to Dr. E. Michael
Jones talk about this in this mp3 file: Libido Dominandi).
Next, I urge you to study the Faith and logic. Look into old catechisms, and
get a book (or take a course, preferably one offered for free online)
on
basic logic so you can learn to break down
arguments and recognize fallacies when you see them. For the
intellectuals among you, I highly recommend making a study of the works
of St. Thomas Aquinas, most especially his "Summa Theologica."
Then study history. Use older books written before identity politics
took over our academic institutions and publishing houses. Study so
that you can see how
civilizations rise and fall, and so that you can have a sense of
yourself as rooted in a certain place, at a certain time, under
conditions that are likely similar in many ways to conditions that
existed in the past. Study, too, the structure of your country's
government and the nature of its laws -- how they're made, and how you
can change them to be in accordance with Christian principles (if
you're American, read the Constitution and come to know the powers
allotted to the various levels and branches of government).
Know
throughout your work that you are part of a great story -- one that
began with
creation, and which will end when Christ returns. Your were born where
and when you were for a reason.
Your story, which is being lived out
within the greater story of history, matters. You matter. It is up to you and
your generation to repair the damage and to restore what's been lost.
You are being called to do the heroic! Recall the words of Gandalf to
Frodo in J. R. R. Tolkien's "The Fellowship of the Rings":
“I wish it need
not have happened in my time,” said Frodo.
“So do I,” said Gandalf, “and so do all who live to see such
times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is
what to do with the time that is given us.”
I want you to please think about this very deeply: you were born when
you were for a reason, and
there's work to be done -- a lot of work that shouldn't have been made necessary,
but because of the doings of evil men -- and the lack of vigilance on
the part of otherwise good men -- is
necessary. What you are up
against is akin to what the earliest Christians were up against: you
are one of the relative few who've accepted the grace of faith; you are
one of a
relative few who live aware
of the
pagan, secular, and literally Satanic evil that undergirds the modern
world.
But remember that the Church began with just twelve men who
risked everything to bring Light to the world. And they succeeded!
The desert Fathers gave shape to monasticism,
and small groups of Benedictines came after them, spreading
themselves out through Ireland, England, France, Germany, conquering an
entire continent with Truth and Charity. The rise of Christendom, with
its great cathedrals, universities, and science, all began with twelve men and the fiat of one Virgin. Know how powerful you are.
Fight! Yes, you are in the position of having to intentionally seek out
and take what you should have been given freely by your parents and
society at large, but don't despair, don't give in to resentment, and
don't give up. Find what you should
have been given, and take it!
As Dr. Jordan Peterson might put it, you
must jump into the chaos to save your "dying father" from the
underworld.
And when you get discouraged, get "plumb mad dog mean" and keep
fighting:
Pairing Up
While some of you reading this may be called to the priesthood or the religious life, and some
of you are meant to be
single, most
of you are likely called to holy
matrimony -- to marry and build families. Sadly, though, you are up
against very serious
obstacles, foremost among these being: the effects of the sexual
revolution (adults, see a comparison
between the lyrics of the Beach Boys' "Wouldn't It Be Nice?" and
Cardi B's "WAP") 2;
changes to
marriage law that have rendered men powerless in their own homes and,
in turn, made them unwilling to marry; and the eradication of sexual
and dating norms.
With regard to that last, the questions of who asks out whom, who pays,
and what to do on dates are now unanswered. Throw the pressures of the
sexual revolution, and the isolating effects of smartphones and
"helicopter parenting" into the mix, and we're left with confusion. And
with young men and women not knowing how
to find a spouse.
Here, I want you to watch something: check out this old
Coronet Instruction film from 1949. It's the kind of film today's young
people and sketch comedians like to make fun of, but think about it:
The boy's warned to stay away from "thots" and to really think about
what sort of woman would be a good match. He has a good relationship
with his mother and respects her. He has an older brother and a father
to emulate and from whom to pick up tricks and information about dating
norms (e.g., "flowers are for a prom or a very special party, otherwise
you don't need to"). He's given veritable scripts to use when asking a
girl out and ending a date, scripts that hit the sweet spot between
nervous, simpy fumbling and disrespectful hyper-machismo. It's taken
for
granted
that he is the one who'll do the asking out. She's shown having respect
for the boy and what he pays in terms of the costs of a date, the
importance
of being on time, etc. It's made clear to girls watching that boys like
to feel appreciated, and Ann is shown giving Woody a big clue that she
had a good time and would like to go out with him again; she doesn't
play coy, she doesn't play hard to get, and she doesn't think only of
herself. And then
there's the date itself: they have fun. They talk to each other and to
friends. They eat. They play games. They're not staring into
phones. Even better, they're not rutting like animals, thereby
breaking God's law, risking unwanted pregnancy, and gambling with
sterilizing or
death-dealing diseases. There are norms in place, and each sex was
taught something real about the opposite sex and how to get along with
members of it.
They lived in a world that still took marriage seriously in
spite of its growing acceptance, by that time, of divorce. The people
around
them -- family, friends, the strangers on TV -- worked together to
support marriage as an institution. "No fault divorce" was unheard of;
prohibitions against adultery were enforced by law, and abandoned
spouses could sue for "alienation of affections" the adulterers who
stole their mates away. 3
Their minds hadn't been saturated with porn. Woody wasn't looking at
Ann and imagining her in in various kinky positions, and Ann didn't
imagine Woody imagining her like that. And vice versa. The "sexual
default" was set to "off" during their date; the social expectation,
the norm, was to think "of course
we're not going to have sex," not "well, we're alone in a room
together, so we're supposed to have sex. How can I get out of it?" It
was known to all that boys and girls aren't supposed to throw
themselves at each other on a first date. Or a third date. Or at any
time before marriage. The relatively
few couples who would do such a thing wouldn't brag about it; it was
kept secret because it was rightly seen as shameful. And if a baby were
to have been conceived by such a couple, they would marry, or the girl
would go "visit an Aunt" for a few months, give birth, and, likely,
give the child up for adoption, to be raised by a married couple --
consisting, of course, of a man and a woman.
None of the above is the case today. So many of you have been raised
without
fathers, and because families have become very small, many of you have
also grown up without brothers and sisters, making you feel as if the
opposite sex is much more alien than it should be. You've grown up in a
world in which women are taught to hate
and resent men, and men are taught to see women as some weird mix of
unable-to-be-questioned-or-criticized
rulers of the universe and porn objects. You've not only not been given
scripts and sane norms, but you've been lied to, taught that there are
no
differences between the sexes -- except that, somehow, men are evil,
and women are good. You've been sexualized at way too young of an age,
surrounded by smut and taught that the most powerful things a woman can
do are get a STEM job and behave promiscuously.
People your age don't date. There are few, if any, dinners, dances, or
parties hosted in homes; texting and hooking up have taken their place,
and they don't have a purpose like dating did, which was to "try people
out" and get to know them for the purpose of eventually finding a
lifelong mate with whom to have and raise children.
There are no rules in place regarding who asks out whom, or who pays
for what -- and, nowadays, girls tend to come out ahead of boys when it
comes to
education levels and income. But at the same time, women aren't
interested in men who make less than they do. Though most won't admit
it even to themselves, women want their men to be more powerful they
are, and to be the providers. They're unwilling, though, to focus on
homemaking and motherhood; instead, they're seduced into obssessing
about non-existent "pay-gaps" and into working to have careers --
careers which they feminize and drive men out of with new work
environments that focus on feelings rather than the work itself, human
resource departments that hire for the sake of "diversity" instead of
excellence, etc. Academia has become a font of wokeness, with rules in
place that even deny boys due process. While females are encouraged
ever onward with "you go, grrrl!" sentiments, boys are shamed as the
source of all evil. And then, as it turns out, most working women don't
have "careers" at all; they have "jobs." Jobs they hate.
So boys have been left behind: once inspired by the thoughts of having
a nice wife and a family to take care of and provide for -- the two
things that, more than anything, help men feel needed and motivated
-- boys now have little to give them a
long-term vision of their futures. Instead, they while away their time
with video games and porn while girls take classes and have meaningless
sex with the "top" 20% of the available men -- the player types who
want nothing long-term with them, males who are considered sexy, but
who'd make terrible husbands and fathers. And their dating pool isn't
just the guys at school, church, or their neighborhood, but men found
in endless supply on dating apps and the internet. Their abundance of
options leads to their being paralyzed, unable to choose one man
because of the possibility that a "better" man might be just around the
corner. By the time these
females reach their 30s and wise up some, it's too late to for them
find a mate; the decent boys they'd ignored and who've finally made
something of themselves aren't interested in them since those girls
have become older and less beautiful, have had years of promiscuity
which has disrupted their ability to bond to another, and are now much
less fertile. Additionally, after years of porn use, many young men are
so saturated by the hyperreality of airbrushed, filtered, made-up,
tarted-out, female products of cosmetic surgeons that real, natural
women are unable to get their attention. And that bevy of plastic women
is experienced, thanks to endless terabytes of videos and pictures, at
a rate that no man before the internet age could have imagined. One
plastic woman after another -- click, click, click, click, click ---
naked, filtered to physical perfection, doing things that wouldn've
have even occurred to a woman 50 years ago, and wouldn't occur to any
woman he'd ever consider marrying. Thousands of images of thousands of
women -- far more women than a man could've possibly encountered living
in even a large-sized city in the Victorian era -- each taking a bit of
his soul and motivation.
How is the girl next door supposed to compete with that? And how is the
boy next door supposed to compete with all the players on dating apps?
How is he supposed to find a wife when so many girls have been told to
settle for nothing less than absolute perfection, and that they're so
great and good that they deserve
nothing less than absolute perfection -- where "perfection"
means checking boxes off on their mental lists that describe the
attributes of no real man who's ever lived? Consider this: so many
silly women say they want men who are 6'3" tall, that they "deserve"
men of that height, and that going out with a man who is less than that
height is "settling," and "settling" is bad. But the average height
of the adult American male is 5'9". 14.5% of adult American men are six
feet or over, and only 3.9% of adult American men are 6'2" or
taller. By demanding someone who is 6'3", a woman's just written off
almost 96% of men. And that's just
the height checkbox! Then, after they turn 40 and are single and
childless, those same women wonder why they're so alone. Women simply
have to grow up and have some humility about themselves and what they
think they "deserve."
Your Mission, Should
You Choose to Accept It
In order to fix these things, the following need to happen:
1. Start with yourself. Deal with your problems and your "issues." Face
your shadow. Conquer your fears. Strive
to be virtuous: develop good
habits and eliminate bad
ones. Stay in a state of grace. Don't lie, not by word or deed, and
not
even about controversial things that people have strong feelings about
(not every true statement is prudent to say at every given moment, but
it's never prudent to lie). Don't hang out
with people who tempt you
to do evil. Say no to porn and masturbation. Eat well and exercise.
Order your home (or room, if that's all you have for now), beautify it,
and make it a sanctuary. Get your mind straight by using older texts to
study the Faith, basic logic, history, and, if intellectually gifted,
Scholasticism
(or "Thomism" -- the philosophy of St. Thomas Aquinas). Get hobbies and
find interests, and delve into them with relish. Become an interesting
person -- i.e., a person who's interested in others and in ideas and
things. Know how to start and conduct a conversation. Know rebuttals
to Protestant assertions and atheists' arguments. Find time to relax
and play. Watch old movies, and read great literature. Periodically
open up and read the Book of Nature.
Don't get dour or "go toxic"!
2.
Women, if you're not called to the religious life or a life of being
single, learn the skills needed to keep a home and raise children.
Learn how to cook, care for babies, teach children, grow a garden, etc.
Inculcate in yourself a spirit of service, a willingness to submit and
be absolutely loyal to the right man -- a man who's shown himself, over
time, to be virtuous, stable, respectful, effective, non-abusive,
non-toxic, and able to provide a reasonable
standard of living for you and your children (that "your" applies to
both you and your husband; women also have to stop acting as if
children are theirs alone).
Stay off of
social media like Instagram that push an unrealistic vision of what
life should be like, and re-evaluate your mental checkboxes for what
makes "the perfect man," focusing on what's actually important: virtue,
stability, dependability, kindness, protectiveness without
condescension, respect for you and for the weak, etc. Get over any
childish standards you might have for what makes a suitable husband.
Give average, decent men a chance and stop holding out for the Brad
Pitts of the world who have no reason to commit to average you: give a reasonably attractive,
good man a few dates before you reject him as a potential husband.
Check any inordinate need for
drama, or for male attention and affirmations about how good you look.
Stop taking
so many selfies, and don't post them online when you do. Get outside of
yourself and stop focusing solely on your needs and wants; consider
men's feelings and needs, and what you offer a potential husband (i.e.,
instead of always thinking of what sort of man you want and what that
man should offer you, ask yourself why any man should marry you. What do you bring to the table? What good
are you?). Choose your
girlfriends
wisely, and leave behind any who are catty, radically feminist, or who
work to undermine you or your other relationships. Look to
Our Lady.
3. Men, if you're called to marriage, strive for success whether you
have a girlfriend or spouse or
not. Develop masculine skills. Build things. Make things.
Master things, especially yourself. Accomplish things so that you
become confident and strong. Work out. Join up with other men who also
want to conquer
themselves. Inculcate in yourself a spirit of fortitude, including the
fortitude it takes -- in spite of how our legal system is stacked
against you -- to be able to trust a woman who, over time, has proven
herself to be trustworthy, stable, respectful of you, nurturing, loyal,
non-abusive, and willing to submit to loving
husbandly headship. Acquire the means and skills needed to provide
reasonably for
a family. Never
reward women with compliments, attention, money, or "likes" for doing
the wrong
things (e.g., the selling of themselves on OnlyFans pages, engaging in
attention-seeking, dressing immodestly, posting too many selfies,
etc.). If you're suffering now
in today's insane dating market, please know that you're not alone, the
problem likely is not you, and that while females have the upper hand
up to their 30s or mid 30s, males come to have the upper hand after
that age (in other words, your time is coming; be patient and don't
give in to despair; get on with your life and be ready for what God may
send your way)! Learn a little "game" to know how to talk -- and not
talk -- to women, how to approach them, how to never pedestalize them
or put them above you or be afraid of or unconfident around them
(treating them like kid sisters, with humor and fun, is a good go-to in
this regard. It doesn't involve hyper-machismo, disrespect, or a lack
of love at all, but does order things mentally and positions you as the
more dominant one). Do what women need to do
when it comes to looking for a spouse:
focus on virtue, goodness, and competence -- the things that last. Look
to St. Joseph.
4. Catholics
must start forming communities and finding each other. Put down
your phones; get off of Instagram, Tumblr, and Tik Tok; step away from
screens; and for the love of all that's holy, get rid of dating apps.
Go into the real
world and do real things with real people. Adults need to step up here
and arrange more things for young people -- get-togethers, bonfires,
dances, picnics, volunteer groups, game nights, outings, lectures, book
clubs, camping trips, lectio divina,
movie nights, entertainments, the encouraging of
collective creative pursuits (such as drama)
and charitable works by our young people, etc. Outside of using phones
for organizing needs, let all of these
events be 100% phone-free (crucial!). Use your parish as a starting
point to
put together groups that have socializing, spiritual advancement, or
charity as their purpose.
If you're
at a university, put together a group for Catholic students. After
setting up a group, lead it: get
conversations going, events planned, email lists organized, a calendar
set up, etc., and be patient with it all, giving it time to grow. Find
a local neighborhood-style, old school pub or coffee shop to make your
own. I think it's important for boys and men, especially, to have
groups that are for their sex alone -- groups that focus on doing things. You're more than
welcome to use the FishEaters discussion
forum and FishEaters materials to any of these ends (you can even call
such groups "FishEaters clubs" and point them to this page to explain
what you're doing; it'd be an honor).
5. Reverse
the sexual revolution. It has to start somewhere, so let it start with
you! Spread the Christian message that sex
belongs only inside marriage. Start slut-shaming again, doing so in a
way that doesn't devolve into humorless, cold Puritanism, and doesn't
presume
to involve judgment of individuals'
souls in any way whatsoever (in other words, judge the sin, not the
sinner, and don't commit the sin of detraction). Shun pornography, and
mock and ridicule those who use it (again, in a general way that
doesn't presume judgment of individuals' souls, without engaging in
detraction, and without shaming those who try to refrain from porn, but
stumble). Educate yourself on how contraception disrupts our naturally
seeing sex as, not a sport, but the means by which children are born.
Stress the absolute importance of fathers! Treat single motherhood as
the very
sad and tragic thing it is. Don't be ashamed of or silent about any of
these Catholic approaches to smut and to sex outside of marriage:
they're the sine qua non of
civilization. You must be brave!
6. Fight to end no-fault divorce. Til then, promote covenant marriage
laws in your State (this is not
the Catholic ideal, but a stop-gap, a small way to help mitigate the
no-fault divorce disaster). Another workaround is the wide use of
prenuptial agreements (and postnuptial agreements) that protect
marriage, and protect men.
7. Fight to change divorce law and procedure so that custody doesn't
automatically default
to mothers in the case of divorce (again, divorce is never the ideal,
but this is a stop-gap to prevent women from thinking too quickly about
initiating divorce, and taking away from a man his children, home, and
income).
8. Fight to end the unjust use of protective orders, restraining
orders, police forces, and other phenomena that deprive men of their
rights, due process, and headship. As an example, this comes from the Cordell
& Cordell law firm4:
[P]rotective
orders are easy to obtain – all a woman has to do is say that she is in
reasonable fear for her safety. Documented evidence of abuse is not
required.
With a small statement, the accused (again, the man in about
85% of the cases) can be forced to stay out of the home, barred from
parenting time, and prevented from any contact with his children,
including through phone and email. In an instant, his house and kids
can be taken away from him...
...Most likely the city or county prosecutors will also charge you with
a crime of violence. Most protective orders are considered a
misdemeanor crime of violence. However, they can be gross misdemeanors
and felonies...
...Where I practice, your gun rights will forever be changed.
My state law may allow you to possess firearms after a certain period
of time. Under federal law, you are forever prohibited from possessing
firearms or ammunition.
The reality that a woman's mere say-so -- with no evidence
and no due process -- can deprive a man of his liberty, children, home,
possessions, income, and legal rights must end now.
9. Work to end the welfare state that replaces fathers with government
paychecks.
10. Get active in politics, especially local politics. Start with your
local school boards! Even those of you who aren't parents or who
homeschool or have kids in private schools have every
right as taxpayers to express your interest in what the children of
your city and state are being taught. Elsewhere locally, keep an eye on
who is running for what, what their policies are, and consider running
for office yourself.
11. Shame radical feminism. Restore the feminine and the honor due to
it. Notice and point out
to others how the only women who are praised today are women who've
eradicated their feminine impulses and embraced the masculine (note the
incessant supply of "Badass Chick" movies -- movies in which
monotone-voiced women are tough, cynical, able to beat up men, sassy,
immodest, promiscuous, selfish, either childless or raising a
fatherless child, etc.). This must end. Spread devotion to Our Lady.
And restore the masculine, shutting down those who rage against men,
complain inordinately about "toxic masculinity," etc. Defend men, and
do so publicly and firmly. Treat disrespect for men in the same way
racism is treated in our society.
12. Spread the Gospel and bring people to Christ's Church. Traditional
Catholicism is the foundation of the solutions to all of these
problems!
Footnotes:
1
Please, the word to describe "male" and "female" is "sex," not
"gender."
2 For more about the sexual revolution,
see The Garbage Generation here at
FishEaters
3 There are still laws in some American
States regarding these matters, but they're rarely, if ever,
enforced, and, given the Supreme Court's Lawrence v. Texas (2003), would
likely be found unconstitutional if challenged.
